Work: Gross - FML

Gross

By gotanewmouse - 26/09/2011 10:37 - New Zealand

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 015

You deserved it 6 801

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By 911 - 13/11/2008 03:57 - France

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 239

You deserved it 2 336

By Roostermann25 - 31/05/2016 01:34 - United States - Lebanon

Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 890

You deserved it 988

Memorable presentation

By paul - 02/02/2010 11:25 - France

Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 299

You deserved it 4 769

New face

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 894

You deserved it 6 449

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 03:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 487

You deserved it 669

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 541

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 114

You deserved it 3 500

Chill out, Kathy

By nearly a crazy lady - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I'd touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 876

You deserved it 3 346

Gross

By maddie - 15/05/2020 05:00

Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 141

By Wraith - 06/11/2013 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 703

You deserved it 4 803

Next

Top comments

Llamassss 21

Monday 26 September 2011 15:56

Dip his mouse in the toilet.

Olovio 5

Monday 26 September 2011 15:57

Spray hand sanitizer in his eyes!

Comments

MEXIKANO 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 2:49

Clean your ass with your hand and he's face

AD76 1

Tuesday 27 September 2011 3:40

What an ass!

misshighjinks 5

Tuesday 27 September 2011 3:48

I have OCD and not afraid of germs but thats just nasy.

superfloyd 4

Tuesday 27 September 2011 3:50

I would sneeze in my hand and bitch slap his punk as in the face

daydreamer244 13

Tuesday 27 September 2011 3:50

shit on his mouse, that will teach him!

brokenglass12 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 4:04

I'd scream and throw the mouse at him... I'm a germaphob and can't be around anyone blowing their nose ...

CapnRach 2

Tuesday 27 September 2011 4:27

Pee on his desk.

rcyadig 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 4:33

Thats fuckkin hilarious

substantialHack 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 4:45

Pee on his keyboard

tc34 1

Tuesday 27 September 2011 5:04

He should be fired

4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 006

You deserved it 3 398

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 82

The Top

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 497

You deserved it 1 981

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 196

Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 398

You deserved it 362

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 537

You deserved it 3 025

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 866

You deserved it 9 619

Today, I came out to my parents. My mom and dad think that I'm lying, just so I could "fit in" with everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 352