Work and Health: Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have...

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 03:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 487

You deserved it 669

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

New face

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 894

You deserved it 6 449

By Anonymous - 25/11/2015 13:37 - United States - Palmer

Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 724

You deserved it 2 652

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 435

You deserved it 8 585

By Roostermann25 - 31/05/2016 01:34 - United States - Lebanon

Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 890

You deserved it 988

By 911 - 13/11/2008 03:57 - France

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 239

You deserved it 2 336

Asshat

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. As my boss is an asshat who hates allowing sick leave, I thought I could power through it, but halfway through my workday I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. I had to go home early and now I can't move without pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 144

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Parker

Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 296

You deserved it 3 921

By race - 18/11/2010 08:37 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 667

You deserved it 2 679

Memorable presentation

By paul - 02/02/2010 11:25 - France

Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 299

You deserved it 4 769

Bless you

By Achoo - 31/01/2023 02:30

Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 187

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 March 2017 2:50

That snot good for your career.

ACCOUNTKILLER 18

Saturday 18 March 2017 2:11

There is no excuse for sneezing on someone else- You know it's going to happen so cover your mouth. If you don't have a hanky or don't want to sneeze into your hand or sleeve, pull your shirt up around your face or do it into your jacket.

Comments

ACCOUNTKILLER 18

Saturday 18 March 2017 2:11

species4872 19

Saturday 18 March 2017 4:59

Apparently you have never suffered from an immediate, uncontrolled sneeze. Not all sneezes have a build up.

tantanpanda 26

Saturday 18 March 2017 17:55

That's just an excuse. You can't sneeze without inhalation of air. That still gives you time to sneeze downwards or into your shirt. It's a YDI and I'd be pretty irritated if I were the boss.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 March 2017 2:50

That snot good for your career.

GofuckY0urSe1f 2

Saturday 18 March 2017 5:45

hey at least your boss didn't walk in on you jerking off in a bathroom stall while you were on break

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 March 2017 8:26

So what happened when you got caught?

GofuckY0urSe1f 2

Saturday 18 March 2017 8:32

he just said: do it at home and not here. now get back to work and dont let me see you doing it again' so i just pulled up my pants and walked back to my desk and we never made eye contact for 2 weeks

Nancy Tate-Leach 4

Saturday 18 March 2017 8:57

Count your blessings. Our pup was doing that but she wasn't so lucky. Turns out she had cancer and she died a few months later.

KFrankly 18

Saturday 18 March 2017 20:32

حبيبي

Lazy34 7

Tuesday 21 March 2017 7:23

Reminds me of the time I had a cold and leaned over to look at something my professor was showing us and my nose uncontrollably leaked onto his papers.