Happy Birthday to the Ground

By FML Approved - 11/09/2017 22:31

So many FMLs happen on birthdays. They should probably be avoided altogether.

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 131

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Top comments

empbob 20

Tuesday 12 September 2017 2:55

Why the hell would you try to push someone's face into a cake covered in lit candles?

Madrias 36

Tuesday 12 September 2017 4:07

Because they haven't found a cure for stupid quite yet.

Comments

jfsiv 17

Monday 11 September 2017 22:57

Look! they got you an upside down cake!

mike3775 35

Monday 11 September 2017 23:37

The look on the guys face was totally worth watching this

empbob 20

Tuesday 12 September 2017 2:55

Why the hell would you try to push someone's face into a cake covered in lit candles?

Madrias 36

Tuesday 12 September 2017 4:07

Because they haven't found a cure for stupid quite yet.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Wednesday 13 September 2017 4:59

I never understood why people try to slam other people's heads into a cake on their birthday. It's rude and wasteful, not to mention messy. Same with brides and grooms smearing their wedding cake all over each other's face.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend insisted on doing some stupid TikTok where we say one thing we’d change about each other. She hates that I don’t always put plates straight in the dishwasher. I hate that she gets her makeup all over the sink without cleaning it. She got mad and threw a book at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 172

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 619

You deserved it 15 052

The Top

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 124

You deserved it 7 614

Today, I took an exam, for which I have been studying for weeks, I was confident at first, but then really struggled with it. I finished with about ten minutes to spare, turned to what I thought would be the end of my paper and found the first page of questions I was supposed to have answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 335

Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 1 255

Today, it was an extremely hot day so I hit up the beach for a swim. Just as I entered the water, the first wave approached me. I tried to jump it and lost my footing, managing to dislocate my hip. I had to be dragged from the water by the lifeguards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 421

You deserved it 2 324

Today, my mom had a fit and confessed that my grandfather is also my father. Apparently, I was the product of a rape and she further confessed that she was going to abort me but chose not to, and she regrets her decision. What caused this conversation? Me watching the season 4 of "You" without telling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 169

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 435

You deserved it 91 877