Thief and Money: Hard times - FML

Hard times

By psychopumpkin - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 672

You deserved it 7 460

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Same thing different taste

Broke boyz

By ohno - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 751

You deserved it 5 571

Prank protip

By Ca13b - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 469

You deserved it 4 014

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 290

You deserved it 2 717

Thanks for the info

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 848

You deserved it 635

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 3 869

By kb - 18/11/2013 06:38 - United States

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 680

You deserved it 4 045

Never enough

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 205

You deserved it 3 951

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

The smell test

By sosadstudent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 106

You deserved it 4 462

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 861

You deserved it 4 565

Next

Top comments

bornaunicorn 12

Monday 13 May 2013 19:58

Moms will always "spare a square".

cmayer 20

Monday 13 May 2013 20:16

Sometimes you get pets before you fall on hard times.

Comments

gamegeek42 6

Monday 13 May 2013 21:21

Even if I wasn't strapped for cash I would still be taking it

showgirl10 3

Tuesday 14 May 2013 5:03

Looks like we got a badass over here!

madamspammalot 15

Monday 13 May 2013 21:37

When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.

chrissy2 28

Monday 13 May 2013 21:43

I do that too! Hug me brotha!!

iKojack 9

Monday 13 May 2013 21:53

Next it will be food I bet you!!

Kyle_Kawi27 7

Monday 13 May 2013 21:59

Shit gets expensive

reflexion213 11

Monday 13 May 2013 22:09

Been there.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Monday 13 May 2013 22:11

What kind of relationship do you have?

cmac86 23

Monday 13 May 2013 22:22

couldn't you just ask for some from her rather than stealing?

allisadawn91 8

Tuesday 14 May 2013 8:52

Stealing is less humiliating, and it's not really stealing if you know that the person would say yes if you asked...it's more like you're just skipping a step

Zebediabolical 39

Monday 13 May 2013 22:43

Is there some issue between you and your mom in which she would refuse to help you out with a roll of TP?

jackaced 7

Monday 13 May 2013 23:07

Mom will always give you the choice...duct tape or plastic wrap

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Keywords

Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Animals Smells Awkward Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Work Christmas Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Ironic Intimacy Abuse Drunk Transportation AITA Alcohol Am I overreacting? Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 270

You deserved it 7 538

Today, even though my bitch of a baby mama makes ten times what I make, the courts are still forcing me to pay child support for the two kids I never wanted. I’m way too busy with my life to have custody of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 855

The Top

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 166

You deserved it 3 817

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 625

You deserved it 1 064

Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 108

You deserved it 5 888

Today, I was having a casual conversation with my sister, who is fifteen. I don't know what's worse: the fact that she told me she went to a website where sugar daddies look for sugar babies, or that she found our biological father on there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 678

You deserved it 279

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 246

You deserved it 3 013

Today, I was saying goodbye to all my close friends before I move out of state. I'd made plans with one friend in particular to meet up before I move away; he didn't bother to respond to my message or calls. Guess I confused a coworker for a friend, huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 166