Thief and Money: Hard times - FML

Hard times

By psychopumpkin - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 672

You deserved it 7 460

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Broke boyz

By ohno - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 751

You deserved it 5 571

Prank protip

By Ca13b - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 469

You deserved it 4 014

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 290

You deserved it 2 717

Thanks for the info

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 848

You deserved it 635

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 3 869

By kb - 18/11/2013 06:38 - United States

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 680

You deserved it 4 045

Never enough

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 205

You deserved it 3 951

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 311

The smell test

By sosadstudent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 106

You deserved it 4 462

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 861

You deserved it 4 565

Next

Top comments

bornaunicorn 12

Monday 13 May 2013 19:58

Moms will always "spare a square".

cmayer 20

Monday 13 May 2013 20:16

Sometimes you get pets before you fall on hard times.

Comments

bocefus 6

Monday 13 May 2013 20:08

Stealing from your mom makes you a scumbag. Try getting a job

paigexox0 37

Monday 13 May 2013 21:59

...you used stuff from your parents house all of your childhood does that make everyone a scumbag?

MsMourningStar 22

Tuesday 14 May 2013 21:37

Maybe they have a job but are on a really tight budget. It happens, money is scarce.

Ambiguous404 6

Monday 13 May 2013 20:08

What a shity situation you are in!

gurly98 13

Monday 13 May 2013 23:23

No... Just no.

ilovedinosawers 17

Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:51

We'll let you off easy.. This time.

chris_42 11

Monday 13 May 2013 20:08

Don't be such an ass-wipe to your mother.

CaptMurdock 25

Monday 13 May 2013 20:13

You gotta do what you gotta do. Maybe next time just ask your mom to help you out a bit?

99megster 15

Monday 13 May 2013 20:22

Not sure why you had to smuggle it, couldn't you have just asked? I'm sure she would have understood. Unless, of course, you have parents like the ones we read about on FML.

SirTalkaton 22

Monday 13 May 2013 20:32

I know that feel OP.

lb0812 18

Monday 13 May 2013 20:45

Lol I didn't know this was so bad. I'm a broke college student and I do my grocery shopping in my parent's pantry.

bettyboop428 24

Tuesday 14 May 2013 0:05

Me too. My grandmother lives with my parents so they have plenty of help, so my little brother and I both shop at our parents house before going to the store. It's great because even though we can mostly afford to shop for ourselves, it's nice to know we have that little bit extra for our family.

TheWorldGreatest 8

Monday 13 May 2013 20:51

Get a job and stop using people for your needs !

squideth 18

Tuesday 14 May 2013 11:42

Yeah cuz no one is EVER broke if they have a job, right?

perdix 29

Monday 13 May 2013 20:52

Who is stupid enough to accept toilet paper as currency? Cottonelle kinda has the texture of money, but it's too wide to confused with a bill.

perdix 29

Monday 13 May 2013 21:05

I'm guessing that your savings have been . . . *lowers sunglasses* wiped out.

1
2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Animals Awkward Love Smells Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Work Christmas Music Grieving Social Media Anniversary Boredom Ironic Intimacy Abuse Drunk Transportation AITA Alcohol Am I overreacting? Kids Gun control Parents

The Top

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 972

You deserved it 3 496

Today, I made the mistake of uttering the phrase "I’m not like other girls" at work when discussing how I prefer staying in and reading over going out to a bar. Now none of the other girls in the office will talk to me and are calling me a "pick-me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 610

The Top

Today, my supervisor asked me to help him for some modifications on an Excel sheet. I helped him for some stuff, but couldn't help him completely. He said to me, " Try to learn more about Excel, I want someone to satisfy my needs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 212

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 117

You deserved it 34 793

Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 254

You deserved it 75 816

Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 080

You deserved it 182

Today, I got home from hospital after being sent there for suicidal intentions because I'm poor, chronically ill and want out of my life. Five hours later, I was sent home after being given one Valium and a taxi ordered, that I had to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 133

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he isn't sure about me anymore. He said he saw a quote on Facebook that a guy can be with a girl for 10 years, then leave, and be with a girl for one and marry that girl. Meanwhile, I've been planning on the rest of my life with him in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 155