Intimacy: Hi, bye!

Hi, bye!

By Hate2Date - 05/04/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date said, "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 856

You deserved it 8 188

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Same thing different taste

Nice guy

By fiercehawk - 18/02/2014 05:45 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 203

You deserved it 5 345

By Anonymous - 19/07/2013 20:57 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 811

You deserved it 4 824

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 150

You deserved it 7 791

Tonight, on Blind Dates…

By dateless - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 554

You deserved it 2 454

By well okay then - 20/05/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 312

You deserved it 4 676

WTF dude?

By Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 861

You deserved it 1 354

By clairebear104 - 19/09/2014 03:15 - United States - Louisville

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 221

You deserved it 4 100

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 19:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 514

You deserved it 2 796

Jah Rule

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Mount Laurel

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 431

You deserved it 8 251

Let's not do this again

By Krissy - 12/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 75

mikemalk123 0

Monday 5 April 2010 12:08

Wow, got yourself a real winner there, apparently he's not quite as brilliant as he thinks you are... Not so sure if I'd say FYL or YDI, but it's funny all the same

uHazFailedTotall 0

Monday 5 April 2010 12:21

He's a keeper, no doubt.

Comments

LeftyPitcher 0

Monday 5 April 2010 15:38

we got our ass handed to us in nam but it really was a war we helping a nation get 2 freedom like us but we couldn't brxuase our commrads had no ****** clue way they were doin so mess with America and u will be 6 feet under

perdix 29

Monday 5 April 2010 15:42

"At some point, I'll take my dick out of your mouth, and it'll be good if you have something interesting to say." No wonder you dumped him -- he lifted that straight from a Hallmark Valentines Day card! The no-talent, plagiarizing hack!

Sparkiee93 3

Monday 5 April 2010 15:47

Yes, that's what you say when you want a *******.

WyKeD 0

Monday 5 April 2010 15:53

OMFG.... that is 1 of the most hilarious things I've EVER heard ..... and from a blind date?!?!? I can't stop lmfao!!!! 1 word: CLASSIC!!!! hahahahhaha ...i'm DEFINITELY going to have to use that 1 for sure!!!! LMMFAOROTMFF

JoeMamas 0

Monday 5 April 2010 16:13

He was right though, wasn't he?

deeve 0

Monday 5 April 2010 16:25

ha well at least he said he would pull out instead of just coming in ur mouth

deeve 0

Monday 5 April 2010 16:28

65 stop being a girl n realize that it's an honor to serve our country and only like 3% of the US does it and there is not a wrong way to win a war all u have to do is kickass

lynsieloowho 0

Monday 5 April 2010 16:33

haha Win!

somethingawesome 9

Monday 5 April 2010 17:28

OP should have responded with "and at some point, when I take MY dick out of YOU'RE mouth, you won't have anything intelligent to say." and then OP leaves.