Pizza and Love: Hungry eyes - FML

Hungry eyes

By choldcreations - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 464

You deserved it 42 054

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

pineappleducki 4

Sunday 7 March 2010 20:11

how did you not notice it before she ate...?

pineappleducki 4

Sunday 7 March 2010 20:09

could be herpes.

Comments

Crabtree1015 12

Sunday 11 November 2012 20:53

Ewwww!!

stonedfishies 10

Tuesday 4 December 2012 13:58

...that's disturbing.

_krystallynn_ 11

Monday 14 January 2013 15:36

when did licking sauce off of someones face become sexy?

Troisaules 7

Friday 21 June 2013 0:16

How is licking food off someone's face sexy ?

gAt_d 26

Friday 8 November 2013 21:18

Nice!! How was your pussa sauce?

cartedor 18

Monday 15 September 2014 0:27

ugh that's very unfortunate. how are you not seeing them in normal time? I mean, they don't just develop in say 5 mins, they must have been there for a while....do you not look at your gf's face.normally?

hurley12 30

Thursday 2 April 2015 12:48

Either way that's NOT sexy

heatherrr17 19

Friday 24 June 2016 5:17

Ewww lol i would be embarressed as the gf tho

memestasquaper 10

Monday 8 August 2016 4:51

B a m b o o z l e d A g a i n

I'madumbass 19

Friday 20 October 2017 15:24

Never assume that that would be sauce. Never.

18
19
20
21
22

Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Love Smells Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Am I overreacting? Drunk Transportation Alcohol AITA Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 250 851

Today, we got a new kitchen but in my wife’s brain it’s so perfect that she doesn’t want it ruined by anything, so no one is allowed to use it. it’s been installed for 4 days, we haven’t cooked anything, used the sink, fridge empty. I can’t even put anything on the counter in case it scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 89

The Top

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 785

You deserved it 3 512

Today, my husband left me for the whore he cheated on me with four years ago. I forgave him and took him back then. I guess I deserved this for being stupid and trusting him once again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 551

Today, I've become so accustomed to having flies in my house that I just gave up on getting rid of them. I only kill the ones that repeatedly land on my face or, worst of all, in my ears. Especially when they get stuck in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 763

Today, my mom got angry that I wasn't responding to her texts. I couldn't because I was in the dentist's chair. She'd dropped me off, and after returning from errands, sent the text from the waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 926

You deserved it 1 647

Today, my friend explained that his internship was clearly worse than mine because he got yelled at by clients. One of my clients ripped out my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 548

You deserved it 1 552

Today, I found out that I’m the only guy in my family that's circumcised. When I asked my parents why they did it, they told me that they wanted me to be “different”. I have 3 older brothers and 5 older cousins. I finally get their helmet jokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 526

You deserved it 399