Love, Embarrassing and Health: Impressive

Impressive

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 783

You deserved it 88 181

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Same thing different taste

Cool moves, dude

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Goteborg

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 365

You deserved it 37 949

Ready, steady…

By dan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Reserved

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 680

You deserved it 9 189

No good deed…

By williebees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Huntsville

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 916

You deserved it 2 519

Why would you do this?

By harrassment101 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her, so I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 560

You deserved it 57 397

Gym bro

By kaplwv116 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 066

You deserved it 41 248

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 046

You deserved it 838

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 385

You deserved it 15 361

Sirens

By yumx24 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 16 197

Creeped out

By emoney - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 623

You deserved it 3 772

The left hand, the right hand

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 828

You deserved it 42 515

BoredOne 0

Monday 23 March 2009 16:13

She must have giggled because she was so impressed by your ability to squeal.

Fuck34 0

Monday 23 March 2009 16:13

Bad things happen when you show off. I'm surprised that's all that happened...it could have been worse.

Comments

Lizzy644 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 0:14

At least you entertained her for a bit lol

exile529 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 20:01

you fail for squealing. hhahahahaahah

Jman1906 2

Wednesday 13 May 2009 20:32

Laughing... so... hard...

robocafaz 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 9:26

You made her laugh. That means she wants you, broskie.

ShelbySayWhah 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 1:37

Awwwww, get a new phone, and hey you got what you wanted, to be noticed. HeeHee

PokeyStix 3

Thursday 28 May 2009 23:07

Why do guys think that women are so basic that they can be impressed by showing off? What are you, a 5-year-old caveman?

HunterAlpha1 8

Friday 2 July 2010 3:58

because they can

mister_moops 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 15:48

i'm so manly i impress girls by dropping weights like a MAN

MadeOfAwesome 1

Sunday 19 July 2009 14:59

You squealed? Lmao

treyster 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 1:33

u ask her out on a date i would hav

rstroupe 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 1:39

at least u got her to laugh

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 170

You deserved it 9 471

The Top

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 004

You deserved it 4 617

Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 611

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 802

You deserved it 5 914

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 598

You deserved it 4 111

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 399 821

You deserved it 46 091

Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 827

You deserved it 29 942

Same thing different taste

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