It's a doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 02:00

Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 301

You deserved it 165

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Same thing different taste

Sneaky boy

By anonymous - 15/12/2015 06:00 - United States - Huffman

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 994

You deserved it 3 878

By Anonymous - 26/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Shreveport

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 751

You deserved it 2 025

By tbright010 - 08/04/2011 22:48 - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 520

You deserved it 4 627

By g'day cunt - 26/08/2012 18:27 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 643

You deserved it 28 879

By badcomparison - 18/12/2016 07:02 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 546

You deserved it 828

By hold your horses pony boy - 18/04/2014 18:24 - United States

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 215

You deserved it 13 732

By Anonymous - 20/06/2012 23:08 - United States - New Kensington

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 482

You deserved it 3 410

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 692

You deserved it 403

By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 8 456

Stealth dog

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 238

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 31 October 2019 3:32

Sometimes there should be limits on the freedom of expression.

E2dav 5

Thursday 31 October 2019 2:33

Seriously that should only be done at a vet clinic. What was that dude thinking?!

Comments

E2dav 5

Thursday 31 October 2019 2:33

Seriously that should only be done at a vet clinic. What was that dude thinking?!

julfunky 29

Thursday 7 November 2019 10:11

Actual vets have said it can be done at home if you know how to do it properly. If this guy’s dog needs it done often then I assume he learned how.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 31 October 2019 3:32

Sometimes there should be limits on the freedom of expression.

riley873 21

Thursday 31 October 2019 6:40

🤦🏿‍♀️

anonurmom 12

Thursday 31 October 2019 10:01

..............

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Thursday 31 October 2019 11:03

next time bathe him at home

Muza 1

Thursday 31 October 2019 12:47

Idk what to say, but you need to go get checked no telling whats in that dogs butty hole... The owner should cover all those medical expenses. ijs

lj2000 5

Thursday 31 October 2019 18:38

Next time. Wash your ******* dog in the shower/ yard like a normal person

hellphone_fml 37

Saturday 2 November 2019 19:00

There is litteral snow outside

Iamthebanzai22 21

Thursday 31 October 2019 18:48

Oh dear God.... *hurls*

Oley 27

Thursday 31 October 2019 20:48

Turn the other cheek😂

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Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

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Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

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You deserved it 265 818

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I agree, your life sucks 23 667

You deserved it 4 316

Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 212

Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML

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You deserved it 6 300