Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Judgment Day

Judgment Day

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Pratt

Today, my fiancé and I are house-sitting for my future in-laws for the next 3 weeks. They left a bible in both bedrooms, along with printouts of an article denouncing the "sin" of premarital sex. They're such complete whack-jobs, I wouldn't be surprised if they've set up hidden cameras everywhere too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 907

You deserved it 2 002

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Bashing

By ZiggyTink - 09/07/2015 03:24 - United States - North Branch

Today, my boyfriend's brother and his fiancée decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine, if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 872

You deserved it 2 426

Trust

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 23:43 - United Kingdom - Broseley

Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 768

You deserved it 1 558

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 203

You deserved it 3 113

By Great - 09/04/2014 01:42 - United States - Katy

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 801

You deserved it 6 266

Hicks

By >_< - 30/08/2013 22:56 - United States - Richmond

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 630

You deserved it 6 328

By teea - 15/11/2012 23:34 - Australia - Saint Lucia

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 473

You deserved it 2 579

By she won't see a therapist - 23/04/2016 04:37 - United States - Omaha

Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 539

You deserved it 1 494

By day001313 - 07/04/2012 04:32 - United States - Albany

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 905

You deserved it 3 351

Put your foot down

By K.. - 28/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I moved into our own house. He proceeded to invite his parents to stay for the week. The same parents we've lived with for the past 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 179

Thanks, Mom

By The Towel Molester - 26/01/2012 14:49 - Australia

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 3 310

Phantomsnake 10

Monday 30 May 2016 1:04

Respect their wishes for not having sex in their bedrooms and have it in the kitchen.

Tripartita 44

Monday 30 May 2016 1:05

If you two ever need to get in the mood and aren't put off by homoerotisism, there's some pretty adorable stuff between Jonathan and David in the book of Samuel. "Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt" (Samuel 18:3).

Comments

ssnow_fml 20

Monday 30 May 2016 1:59

Sounds like a fun conversation about technique when they get back and watch the hidden cam footage.

jakewill7 7

Monday 30 May 2016 2:01

It's their house

dontknow1 19

Monday 30 May 2016 2:24

I know it can be hard dealing with religious fanatics, just don't give it to much attention and enjoy your relationship.

toba122 12

Monday 30 May 2016 4:11

Make 'em a video they'll never forget.

Neko26_fml 4

Monday 30 May 2016 4:23

I wouldn't want other people to have sex in my house either. I find that rude, since most likely they will not be cleaning those crusted up body fluid stained sheets. You should respect their wishes or find another place to have sex.

InfiniteSunshine 32

Monday 30 May 2016 4:45

The issue the OP has is not that they're not allowed to have sex in the in-law's house. It's more about their invasiveness and approach to them having premarital sex in general. They left all that religious material around as a way of criticizing and sending a message that they don't approve of them having premarital sex at all. Despite that it is none if their business whether the OP and her Fiancé are having sex, that's a decision between them, no one else gets a say or gets to condemn that. People need to stay out of other people's sex lives, that's the respectful thing to do.

IorvethTheXolo 8

Monday 30 May 2016 7:02

I absolutely agree, but the way to go about it was not with the passive aggressiveness of the Bibles. That's where I take issue with it. I don't want people having sex in my house so I don't have sex in other people's houses, but if I'm going to tell someone not to do it, I'm going to outright say, "Please don't have sex in my house". These parents seem to think whether or not these two are having sex at all is their business and it just isn't.

Srom_fml 14

Monday 30 May 2016 4:41

They are correct. Having sex before marriage is a sin.

HeartYou101 31

Monday 30 May 2016 10:36

Well, if the OP and their fiancé, my boyfriend and me and millions of other unmarried people and their partners around the world are wrong, then we don't want to be right!