Trust

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 23:43 - United Kingdom - Broseley

Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 768
You deserved it 1 558

Same thing different taste

Top comments

HorrorJr 26

Sounds like they don't trust him very much either. Always going to be some controlling parents out there but this is a new level

Comments

HorrorJr 26

What is wrong with them? They're wasting tons of gas just to keep their son unhappy pretty much

Not many realize it but there's helicopter parenting and then there's Apache helicopter parenting. I feel sorry for you both.

*playing call of duty* gunship inbound shit my moms here

Sounds like they don't trust him very much either. Always going to be some controlling parents out there but this is a new level

I just want to know how old both of you are if he is an adult then he can tell them to screw it.

usnwife 18

Well, if they are driving that far to make sure he stays away from her, I assume he is living on his own, maybe for college? The only thing I would say is if they are paying for his education he needs to decide if OP is worth losing his funding - but he needs to set some boundaries with his parents!!

Or maybe, it's not a good idea to cut yourself off from the people that birthed/raised you. You can be respectful and get your point across.

If the parents are controlling and overbearing, then it is a good idea to cut them off. Just because they birthed and raised you, doesn't make them good people. Cutting a parent off isn't disrespectful, sometimes it's necessary to remove an awful person from your life. Besides, respect is a 2 way street, and right now, the parents are being very disrespectful to their son and his gf by being so domineering.

Not if he is living under his parents' house.

Not if he is living his parents' house. If he is, he needs to follow their rules or risk being kicked out.

Not if he is living his parents' house. If he is, he needs to follow their rules or risk being kicked out.

Aerobic_Exorcism 13

This is beyond trust issues. I'd call this invasion of privacy. OP's boyfriend is no longer under the roof of his parents and yet they feel the need to dictate who he can be around and/or date.

If you're both 18+ (which I assume you are since you both live away from your parents) then they have no right to do this

Even if it's just the boyfriend that's of age... The parents can't do anything.

They probably have him tied by a rope. If he's that far away they could be paying for his education and are treating him as an investment rather than a son.

DeltaDragonxx 20

I just want to know what, if anything, you did.

I knew someone in this type of situation, real controlling parents. He was 18+ and he had to ask permission from his mom for everything, and she'd change her mind last minute on whether he was "allowed," which often made my group of friends have to cancel plans. Then, if he did any little thing wrong, he was "grounded," and they'd just keep him locked in the house. I felt bad for him, as I do for your bf in this situation, that would be so hard to live with. Maybe have a talk with him about his parents. It sounds like you're both 18+, and he needs to remind his parents of this. He's an adult capable of making his own decisions, they don't have to like them, but they can't control what he does with his life.

Unfortunately, they can pretty much tell him what to do if he's still living with them, or they might kick him out.

Since the parents are coming from miles away, I'm going to assume that the bf doesn't live with them. So they're really being ridiculous here. Even still, we need to just get rid of this idea, a parent holding their kid's security over their head so they do what they want, is manipulative and controlling. If an SO were to do this, it would be considered emotionally abusive, but with a parent, it's fine? Again, 18+ is an ADULT, it doesn't matter if they still live with their parents, their parents should not be telling them what to do with their life. As long as they're respectful to the household, contribute in some way (chores, housework, money, etc) and are not hurting themselves, then the parents should just leave them alone and let them be adults that control their own lives. If parents constantly treat them like a child and control them, it creates resentment, and can also make it harder for them to transition to the real world.

Exactly I got kicked out of home at 17 because of my partner my parents didn't like him and tried to make me choose between them or him. They have now come around and we now have a better relationship. They supported us in moving to another town and my mum is very involved in helping plan our wedding. It doesn't all end bad

This is so abusive! He doesn't live with them and they are controlling his movements. There must be someone you can call about this - a charity or something