Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Judgment Day

Judgment Day

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Pratt

Today, my fiancé and I are house-sitting for my future in-laws for the next 3 weeks. They left a bible in both bedrooms, along with printouts of an article denouncing the "sin" of premarital sex. They're such complete whack-jobs, I wouldn't be surprised if they've set up hidden cameras everywhere too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 907

You deserved it 2 002

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Same thing different taste

Bashing

By ZiggyTink - 09/07/2015 03:24 - United States - North Branch

Today, my boyfriend's brother and his fiancée decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine, if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 872

You deserved it 2 426

Trust

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 23:43 - United Kingdom - Broseley

Today, my boyfriend's parents decided that I was untrustworthy and that if they ever saw him with me he'd be heavily punished. They're travelling hundreds of miles just to make sure he stays in the house and doesn't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 768

You deserved it 1 558

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 203

You deserved it 3 113

By Great - 09/04/2014 01:42 - United States - Katy

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 801

You deserved it 6 266

Hicks

By >_< - 30/08/2013 22:56 - United States - Richmond

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 630

You deserved it 6 328

By teea - 15/11/2012 23:34 - Australia - Saint Lucia

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 473

You deserved it 2 579

By she won't see a therapist - 23/04/2016 04:37 - United States - Omaha

Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 539

You deserved it 1 494

By day001313 - 07/04/2012 04:32 - United States - Albany

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 905

You deserved it 3 351

Put your foot down

By K.. - 28/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I moved into our own house. He proceeded to invite his parents to stay for the week. The same parents we've lived with for the past 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 380

You deserved it 179

Thanks, Mom

By The Towel Molester - 26/01/2012 14:49 - Australia

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 3 310

Phantomsnake 10

Monday 30 May 2016 1:04

Respect their wishes for not having sex in their bedrooms and have it in the kitchen.

Tripartita 44

Monday 30 May 2016 1:05

If you two ever need to get in the mood and aren't put off by homoerotisism, there's some pretty adorable stuff between Jonathan and David in the book of Samuel. "Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt" (Samuel 18:3).

Comments

goochythegreat 4

Monday 30 May 2016 6:30

It is their house

GoddammitHoward 4

Monday 30 May 2016 19:02

the point of the post is not that theyre upset that they cant have sex int he house its that the in laws didnt bother to ask them politely not to. instead they left religious material around to guilt them out of having sex at all anywhere when its their choice

C8H18 33

Monday 30 May 2016 6:31

I don't think the hint was strong enough. Geez.

nanner6206 24

Tuesday 31 May 2016 20:36

exactly. do it and if they somehow find out and say something just play dumb....ohhhh that's what all the bibles were about...

LT_Silva101 18

Monday 30 May 2016 6:40

To be fair, I doubt you'd want people having sex in your house when you're not around either.

pastyprincess 7

Monday 30 May 2016 7:27

its Kansas, most of the older people you'll meet are very religious and will also try to push it on you. though there are always the people that will let you be you, you seam to have sadly gotten stuck with the first, hopefully its not bad after your married

Camo23 21

Monday 30 May 2016 7:52

Give 'em something good to watch if they do have cameras.

AvidFMLGuy 5

Monday 30 May 2016 17:14

Ugh, screw religious people like these. You do what makes you happy!

kikimiko 7

Monday 30 May 2016 20:26

I really hope you two got it on! It's none of their business! The choice to have sex is between you and your partner. No one else! If anyone asks you, simply say "that topic involves me and my partner only" and walk away. That's what I did and it worked beautifully!