Awkward, First Dates and Intimacy: Keeper

Keeper

By ughreally - 20/09/2013 00:20 - United States - Sartell

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I F*ck On First Dates". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 056

You deserved it 6 470

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Same thing different taste

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 361

You deserved it 31 749

Tonight, on Blind Dates…

By dateless - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 549

You deserved it 2 454

By Tiffosaur - 04/01/2013 06:12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 009

You deserved it 2 653

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 20:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 246

By SoccerBabe42 - 26/12/2011 12:11 - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 939

You deserved it 3 240

By LoveSucks - 18/05/2019 21:54

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 863

You deserved it 154

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 145

You deserved it 7 788

WTF dude?

By Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 857

You deserved it 1 353

Classic

By KDH - 26/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Santa Monica

Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 122

Bad omen

By coveholli - 15/11/2014 14:43 - Australia - Perth

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 244

You deserved it 3 197

jasdanu 12

Friday 20 September 2013 8:49

Can't tell if he has a sense of humor or is trying to play out a bad joke

Miss_Latina 13

Friday 20 September 2013 8:51

Did you?

Comments

teffyweffy 6

Friday 20 September 2013 9:18

Balls

SweetasCandy0609 28

Friday 20 September 2013 9:30

dang and I'm sure you forgot to wear your I don't f*ck on the first date shirt.

hienzburgess 9

Friday 20 September 2013 9:36

he's a straightforward no bullshit kinda guy. it's a good quality to have in a relationship

werewolf_babe 16

Friday 20 September 2013 9:43

Run

StefanKa 23

Friday 20 September 2013 10:10

Well...it's free, right? So don't complain.

WhiteCrimson 23

Friday 20 September 2013 10:20

Clearly he had high expectations!!! What a tosser! Hope you left as he walked in OP

Rhian00 17

Friday 20 September 2013 10:33

He sounds classy! Definitely a keeper.

benmec 18

Friday 20 September 2013 11:44

Sounds like you totally scored!!!

Wakachulak 22

Friday 20 September 2013 12:13

False advertising... It is illegal!

FezzesAreCool 18

Friday 20 September 2013 12:42

Run!

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Facebook Love Am I overreacting? Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Technology Education Relatable Students Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 277

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

The Top

Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 066

You deserved it 10 068

Today, one of my coworkers decided it'd be funny to tell our boss that I made creepy comments about his teenage daughter. The worst part is that the aforementioned lying coworker is my mother. I wish I was joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 112

Today, after months of living on five dollars a day for food in college, I found out my parents bought me an expensive meal plan and forgot to mention it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 534

You deserved it 1 503

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 189

You deserved it 2 166

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 035

You deserved it 3 372

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 837

You deserved it 29 329

Same thing different taste

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