Awkward, First Dates and Intimacy: Keeper

Keeper

By ughreally - 20/09/2013 00:20 - United States - Sartell

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I F*ck On First Dates". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 056

You deserved it 6 470

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Same thing different taste

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 361

You deserved it 31 749

Tonight, on Blind Dates…

By dateless - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 549

You deserved it 2 454

By Tiffosaur - 04/01/2013 06:12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 009

You deserved it 2 653

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 20:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 246

By SoccerBabe42 - 26/12/2011 12:11 - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 939

You deserved it 3 240

By LoveSucks - 18/05/2019 21:54

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 863

You deserved it 154

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 145

You deserved it 7 788

WTF dude?

By Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 857

You deserved it 1 353

Classic

By KDH - 26/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Santa Monica

Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 122

Bad omen

By coveholli - 15/11/2014 14:43 - Australia - Perth

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 244

You deserved it 3 197

jasdanu 12

Friday 20 September 2013 8:49

Can't tell if he has a sense of humor or is trying to play out a bad joke

Miss_Latina 13

Friday 20 September 2013 8:51

Did you?

Comments

beachbum561fla 14

Saturday 21 September 2013 3:35

At least he's honest

hulagan77 5

Saturday 21 September 2013 4:37

was his shirt correct?

Testing1234 25

Saturday 21 September 2013 5:14

Hes probably just trying to be funny ..... I hope

smilelynzi 5

Saturday 21 September 2013 5:33

He sounds like a douche..

datburn 9

Saturday 21 September 2013 8:33

Icebreaker?

mesahus 5

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:56

Maybe he was just '*******' with you

greenbaybuddy 2

Tuesday 24 September 2013 7:13

Thats awesome straight to the point

wifey08 13

Wednesday 25 September 2013 7:53

I have a strong feeling he did NOT get any...I bet he was just trying to lighten the mood, he obviously didn't realize how tacky it was.

Euphrates 10

Saturday 28 September 2013 0:00

this would have been completely diferent post if this happened to a guy...lol

foxyhasmybooty 16

Tuesday 2 December 2014 13:30

Yes.yes it would because we wouldn't be reading it

kaywilliams 6

Monday 30 September 2013 9:22

At least he's honest! Lol

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 847

The Top

Today, my husband's dick went in the wrong hole. And by the wrong hole, I mean another man’s anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 789

You deserved it 571

Today, I ordered a surveillance camera for my home. The package got stolen after being delivered. I think they're onto me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 882

You deserved it 265

Today, I decided to ride my bike for the first time in over a year. It was seemingly going well, until I got to the first hill. As I began to ascend, I was trying a bit to hard and shit my pants, 8 kilometers away from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 301

Today, I chipped my tooth by biting down on my toothbrush. I don't know what hurts more: the irony or the fact I have no dental insurance until January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 676

You deserved it 473

Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 514

You deserved it 3 703

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 843

You deserved it 8 037

Same thing different taste

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