Awkward, First Dates and Intimacy: Keeper - FML

Keeper

By ughreally - 20/09/2013 00:20 - United States - Sartell

Spicy

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I F*ck On First Dates". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 056

You deserved it 6 470

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Same thing different taste

Bat out of hell

By goodeyesight - 11/10/2012 14:02 - Brazil - Sào Paulo

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 361

You deserved it 31 749

Tonight, on Blind Dates…

By dateless - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 549

You deserved it 2 454

By Tiffosaur - 04/01/2013 06:12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 009

You deserved it 2 653

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 20:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only I had already been on a date with the guy before, we'd also had both forgotten about it until halfway through the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 246

By SoccerBabe42 - 26/12/2011 12:11 - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 939

You deserved it 3 240

By LoveSucks - 18/05/2019 21:54

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 863

You deserved it 154

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 145

You deserved it 7 788

WTF dude?

By Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Spicy

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 857

You deserved it 1 353

Classic

By KDH - 26/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Santa Monica

Today, I went on a blind date and mistook someone else at the restaurant for my date. We had a great conversation… until the real blind date arrived. The look on both their faces was priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 122

Bad omen

By coveholli - 15/11/2014 14:43 - Australia - Perth

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 244

You deserved it 3 197

Next

Top comments

jasdanu 12

Friday 20 September 2013 8:49

Can't tell if he has a sense of humor or is trying to play out a bad joke

Miss_Latina 13

Friday 20 September 2013 8:51

Did you?

Comments

haled9 3

Friday 20 September 2013 18:25

He's a keeper

Omniprism 14

Friday 20 September 2013 19:21

He's lame. Of course guys **** on first dates. It should be a chick wearing the shirt. I wouldn't go out again with him. He's not mature enough to handle dating.

pepsi_ftw 13

Friday 20 September 2013 19:44

ooh I wanna hear the author to follow up and tell us what happened after

AngryD 9

Friday 20 September 2013 19:46

At least he advertised that he was going to be a waste of your time and you didn't have to go home wondering if you wanted a second date

ifavela89 13

Friday 20 September 2013 20:13

I would have said sorry wrong date I'm waiting for someone else lol and walked out

mybubbles2000 13

Friday 20 September 2013 20:29

So how'd the date turn out?

nurchok 15

Friday 20 September 2013 20:41

Weeeeeeelllllll, did he?

squarecircles 13

Friday 20 September 2013 21:31

Maybe it was his own twisted way of looking for a reaction?

theonecasey 27

Saturday 21 September 2013 0:53

What an awful joke :(

happyfingers 15

Saturday 21 September 2013 1:03

Meh. Unless there were multiple other things weird or disturbing about him I'd have just laughed it off. Maybe he just thought it'd be funny.

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The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 023

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, I accidentally sent a sext to my boss instead of my crush. Now I'm in the doghouse at work AND at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 1 159

Today, my boyfriend of two years took me out to breakfast. We were eating and he kept on staring at me like he was thinking of something really important. I thought he was going to say, "I love you". So I told him to, "say it already." Turns out he was thinking of a way to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 444

You deserved it 5 566

Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 911

You deserved it 7 375

Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 337

You deserved it 24 863

Today, I mentioned to my parents that Sunday is going to be awesome because it's Christmas. They responded with "Wait, this Sunday? In 3 days?!" Apparently they forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 443

You deserved it 720

Today, I performed for the first time at someone's wedding. When the music started, I heard a click. Slowly, I felt my strapless bra drop lower and lower due to my non-existent breasts. The hook on my bra had broken at that very moment on stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 925

You deserved it 759