Intimacy, Health, Sex and New year's day: Late results - FML

Late results

By ohbutno - 08/02/2022 18:01

Spicy

Today, I found out that not only did I get the best blowjob of my life on New Year's Eve, I also got gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 547

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Infected - 20/02/2011 17:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 034

You deserved it 19 913

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 11:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 794

You deserved it 7 273

By Yupppp. - 11/02/2015 06:25 - United States - Flushing

Spicy

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 5 292

Cheers

By imgoingtofreakout - 26/12/2017 19:00

Spicy

Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 559

You deserved it 656

Smelly Finger Nights

By Anonymous - 06/10/2020 17:02 - United States - Carmichael

Spicy

Today, I learned that not only do I have bacterial vaginosis, but I ALSO have gonorrhea from a hookup. The only symptoms I'm having? Anal itching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 1 155

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 969

You deserved it 18 671

Don't shoot the messenger

By Anonymous - 05/07/2020 23:01

Spicy

Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 2 061

Ménage à nope

By 3somer - 20/08/2017 04:29

Spicy

Today, I received a text from the woman with whom my boyfriend and I recently had a threesome. After years of fantasizing, I finally experienced what it was like to be with another girl. Now we also get to experience what it's like to have gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 045

You deserved it 5 096

By impure - 29/09/2014 16:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 225

You deserved it 4 529

By Battlebarney - 22/09/2016 10:58 - United States - Washington

Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 491

You deserved it 1 969

Next

Top comments

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 8 February 2022 19:31

It seems that your date was sexually skilled but may have got that way while taking unnecessary chances with potential STD’s. Are you sure, though, that this was the person you caught it from?

JackWood 20

Wednesday 9 February 2022 0:26

Fortune favors the brave and no good dead goes unpunished. You get what you pay for, or you pay for what you get. js

Comments

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 8 February 2022 19:31

It seems that your date was sexually skilled but may have got that way while taking unnecessary chances with potential STD’s. Are you sure, though, that this was the person you caught it from?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 8 February 2022 23:09

I don't think you got gonorrhea that way. Anything else happen that night?

JackWood 20

Wednesday 9 February 2022 0:26

Fortune favors the brave and no good dead goes unpunished. You get what you pay for, or you pay for what you get. js

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 245

You deserved it 4 765

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

The Top

Today, I was playing basketball in the searing heat with my friends. I jokingly told my friend that I was gonna die if I stayed out there much longer. Two minutes later, I got the ball and made the shot that won. Too bad I didn't see it, since I collapsed right as I took the shot and blacked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 098

You deserved it 1 415

Today, I asked my husband for the 1000th time to stop texting a woman he used to be friends with in high school, with whom he recently reconnected, and that I’m feeling neglected in this marriage. He responded by saying, “Fine! I guess I can’t have any friends then!” and took a hammer to his phone, breaking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 347

Today, for the second time in my life, I fell and got stuck between my wall and my bed wrapped in a blanket, mad. Instead of helping me, my brother just took videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 336

Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 251

You deserved it 14 052

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 589

You deserved it 24 379

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 552

You deserved it 15 034