Weird, Annoying, Neighbours, Cops and Miscellaneous: Leave me alone

Leave me alone

By MIB - 13/07/2011 16:26 - United States

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 735

You deserved it 2 824

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Nice neighborhood

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 15:34 - United States - Lexington

Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 972

You deserved it 1 791

Christmas gifts

By not a thief - 24/12/2021 01:59

Today, while I was home sick from work, my neighbor got packages delivered. Our apartments have had a lot of thefts lately so, being neighborly, I brought her stuff inside to wait. When she came home, I gave them right to her. Instead of thanking me, she told the office that I was the thief all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 141

By nothingtoseeherejuststealingtrees - 05/04/2016 20:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my neighbor. When she saw me cutting down trees on my lot, she interrogated me and called the police because she didn't believe I owned the property. She didn't call the cops when she watched someone steal a cord of wood from my property two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 836

You deserved it 1 334

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 168

Nice try, Janet

By Anonymous - 06/04/2014 19:37

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 783

You deserved it 3 510

By ThatAintLogical - 18/12/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 201

You deserved it 2 546

Good samaritan

By tryingtohelp - 24/05/2020 20:00

Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 365

You deserved it 409

By Ghettogirl4life - 12/07/2011 13:34 - United States

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 041

You deserved it 3 174

Not taking it well

By runsinthefamily - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Aurora

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 003

You deserved it 4 633

Foiled

By james88 - 07/01/2013 21:39 - United States - Altoona

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 560

You deserved it 37 802

olii_fml 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 22:34

Tell her that she's blown your cover and that you're going to have to kill her

denvan 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 22:34

Tell her the aliens are coming for her

Comments

iEats 1

Friday 15 July 2011 6:12

she sounds like a schizophrenic, tell her to see a doctor about it

NotTheMama 1

Friday 15 July 2011 6:28

If you know any of your neighbor's family members, you need to let them know what she's saying and doing. Also go to the police and file a report personally. Let them know that you think she's untreated paranoid schizophrenic, and that you're concerned. Please be very, very careful and don't do any of the funny things that people have written. Don't look at her, don't eat or drink anything she gives you, and don't ever leave your home or car unlocked. My sister ended up getting an apartment because the girl who lived there before her was an untreated paranoid schizophrenic, and she ended up killing someone in the building who was her friend up until that point. Her delusions or whatever took her over and she didn't know that what she was thinking wasn't real. Her friend knew she was acting strangely, but didn't heed the warning signs and then it was too late. Please be careful and good luck. (If I were you, I'd move as soon as possible, but that's me.) And just for the record, treated schizophrenia is very different from untreated paranoid schizophrenia, so that's why I'm saying for the OP to run.

GlennQuagmire 0

Friday 15 July 2011 16:34

Tell her to leave or you will use the patriot act on her and send her to guanko

chrisworld 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 6:32

whats scary is she probably actually did something that has her paranoid that someone is watching her. lolololol

qtns0cal 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 10:28

call the local psych hospital maybe they will care

mimi2016_fml 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 8:40

well u deserved it...lol

evebright 5

Tuesday 19 July 2011 23:59

call back the cops and say never mind, I shot her, then hang up. LOL

Coolbreezer 0

Monday 25 July 2011 14:32

dress up like men in black. every time she comes close wisper into your sleeve loud enough so she can hear. * ok. ok. end transmition she can hear us now. over and out*

Bludmagnus 13

Thursday 25 August 2011 10:54

This is the result of allowing liberals to force us to accept crazy people as "normal". The woman should be locked up in a wacko basket and never let out.