Death and Animals: Life's a beach

Life's a beach

By squishylog - 12/08/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 926

You deserved it 7 102

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By LexiBoBexi - 12/07/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 633

You deserved it 8 632

By Anonymous - 13/08/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 821

You deserved it 6 331

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 3 603

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 839

You deserved it 5 045

Now you know

By Ouchies - 18/03/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 91

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 996

You deserved it 18 158

Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 169

By sothisishowidie - 30/09/2013 11:18 - Guam - Yigo

Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 751

You deserved it 12 999

Nice friends you got there

By Schrewt - 24/01/2010 08:50 - France

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 655

You deserved it 3 166

He needs them more than you

By cjj325 - 20/03/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 030

You deserved it 32 536

stevie1359 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:09

Couldnt you smell it? Lol

swasticop 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:13

As long as you didn't have sex on it...

Comments

bmar21 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 21:17

I punched a seal once

shamille 5

Saturday 13 August 2011 22:57

I bet it made a funny noise when you sat on it.

therighthero 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 0:32

I did that once. Stepped on it thinking it was a rock and my foot went right through it's torso.

Under_paid_Goril 4

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:18

What gave it away? The smell of death.. Or maybe the tail fins?

Tiffilicious 3

Sunday 14 August 2011 10:17

lmao @ #173, sometimes the comments make me laugh harder than the FML's!

teeny54 10

Monday 15 August 2011 6:44

haha faaiiil

bechtela 0

Monday 15 August 2011 7:05

Asshole

Mz_Kane 0

Monday 15 August 2011 9:30

How do you not know the difference between a seal & a log?! JS

Isaac_The_Great 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 15:30

There's nothing wrong with that?

hollyjeez 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 2:17

Well they coulda had the seal join^

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Love Weird Work Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers

The Top

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 111

The Top

Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, Mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 670

You deserved it 7 287

Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 441

You deserved it 1 626

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 257

You deserved it 6 220

Today, right now, I can say one thing for certain: Despite not knowing exactly what it means to be conventionally attractive, I still know for a fact I'm the exact opposite of that. People have told me that I look homeless. I shudder to think of how I'd look if I were actually homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 124

Today, I had a phone call from a company I was applying to. It was going really well, until the call ended. Now since I'm so used to calling my girlfriend, I ended the call with, "Love you, bye." And if things couldn't get any worse, I started swearing to myself. The recruitment officer heard me. I forgot to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 867

Today, while standing in line at a local Mexican fast food place, I was feeling generous and let a little kid behind me go in front. Turns out he had a list, and was ordering food for his whole family. I had to wait 30 minutes to get my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 038

You deserved it 13 533