Death and Animals: Life's a beach - FML

Life's a beach

By squishylog - 12/08/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 926

You deserved it 7 102

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Same thing different taste

By LexiBoBexi - 12/07/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 633

You deserved it 8 631

By Anonymous - 13/08/2011 19:12 - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 821

You deserved it 6 331

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 3 603

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 839

You deserved it 5 045

Now you know

By Ouchies - 18/03/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 91

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 996

You deserved it 18 157

Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 169

By sothisishowidie - 30/09/2013 11:18 - Guam - Yigo

Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 751

You deserved it 12 999

Nice friends you got there

By Schrewt - 24/01/2010 08:50 - France

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 655

You deserved it 3 166

He needs them more than you

By cjj325 - 20/03/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 030

You deserved it 32 536

Next

Top comments

stevie1359 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:09

Couldnt you smell it? Lol

swasticop 0

Friday 12 August 2011 16:13

As long as you didn't have sex on it...

Comments

samtheman1028 1

Saturday 13 August 2011 1:31

Since when are there logs in beaches?

doglover339 4

Saturday 13 August 2011 1:34

What the crap?!??!???!? I would have fainted!

miami_bb6 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 2:51

Bar b q anyone????

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 13 August 2011 3:25

Surprise!

DriizztD 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 3:56

What a bad " club "

nickyz85 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 3:57

any body thinking what i am sounds like on hell of a bar b q

perdix 29

Saturday 13 August 2011 3:58

"We're never gonna survive Unless We get a little Crazy" Ooops! Wrong Seal. I'll bet you're never going to be able to listen to that song again without recalling the scent of the dead "log" you sat on.

L3g4lPl4typus 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 4:00

looks like you just missed some good clubbing

TrollerTrollsYou 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 6:20

Wow

TrollerTrollsYou 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 6:20

Wow

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The Top

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer had got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 183

You deserved it 46 377

Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 707

You deserved it 2 991

The Top

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 54 092

Today, I found out that my husband really thinks onion rings are seafood. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 584

You deserved it 2 528

Today, a woman who has a history of being horrible came into my work. I had to help her, so I was determined to be so nice that she couldn't possibly complain about me, as she has about several coworkers before. Apparently, I was too nice. Now she loves me and wants me to help her every time she comes in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 385

Today, my brother thought New Year's would be more epic and memorable if the fireworks were set off in the family room and not outside. It is memorable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 319

You deserved it 3 606

Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 482

You deserved it 6 815

Today, I was surprised to see a lot of blood when I looked down the toilet while I was pooping, as I don't have my period right now. I've been heavily constipated since I've consumed my allergy medicines. The thing is, I need them to function normally, as I'd be sneezing every minute if it wasn't for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 103