Awkward and Funerals: Long eulogy - FML

Long eulogy

By Anonymous - 30/04/2022 12:00

Today, the minister at my grandpa's funeral had a speech impediment that made him stutter his R’s. My grandpa’s name was Robert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 82

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Is this legal?

By John Trent - 06/09/2023 13:00 - United Kingdom - Trowbridge

Today, at my grandad's funeral, as my dad and aunt poured his ashes into the hole, a strong gust of wind blew the ashes into my throat. I choked on my grandad. What made it worse was that the vicar had to stop her prayer to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 112

By familyhatesme - 18/07/2014 16:30 - United States - Kingston

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 519

You deserved it 7 927

Foot in mouth

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 04:48 - Australia

Today, my grandpa died. I called my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit, "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 868

You deserved it 25 975

By too cool - 01/07/2014 03:59 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 380

You deserved it 3 360

By Anonymous - 14/08/2015 15:08 - Denmark

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 613

You deserved it 1 666

Shut up!

By Unfun funeral - 31/10/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to my uncle's funeral. His eulogy was ruined by an annoying little kid repeatedly talking over the pastor, who didn't pause for anything, no matter how many times his parents told him to stop. The complimentary lunch was horrible, and the hearse driving him to the cemetery got into an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 70

Free speech

By christacat - 28/09/2016 10:24 - United States - Delaware

Today, I have a speech impediment that's recently become more noticeable. My entire family has decided that the best way to go about handling it is to mock me whenever I try to say something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 096

You deserved it 933

By Me - 03/06/2013 05:32 - United States - Homer Glen

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 499

You deserved it 3 919

Respect the dead

By yawny - 22/10/2023 16:00

Today, I got slapped in the face for stifling a yawn at my grandmother’s funeral. I wasn’t being disrespectful; I have a condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 03/04/2012 00:32 - United States - Missouri City

Today, while at a store, my stuttering problem became so bad the poor store clerk had to supply my own words for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 683

You deserved it 2 064

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 30 April 2022 14:46

Sor-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-y for your-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r loss.

Comments

poopface82 19

Saturday 30 April 2022 14:44

Maybe someone should have run up mid-eulogy and whispered “he preferred to be called Bobby.” Even if it wasn’t true, it would have solved the problem by an large. Also say he wanted the eulogy delivered with a Boston accent.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 30 April 2022 14:46

Sor-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-y for your-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r loss.

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The Top

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 915

You deserved it 74 266

Today, I dressed up nicely to see the guy that I like and have been talking to for the last 3 months. Just when I thought he was finally going to ask me to be his girlfriend, he told me that he's actually had a girlfriend for 3 years now, but was too afraid to tell me because he really likes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 148

The Top

Today, I got slapped by a woman standing in front of me in line after a little kid grabbed her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 523

You deserved it 217

Today, at a BBQ, my boyfriend's friend told us, “Oh, this reminds my of the time I got third degree burns on my dick.” He’s been trying to talk to me, and I keep thinking about it how it must look like Freddie Kruger's. I don’t know what I just agreed to help him with, but I’m sure it will be a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 283

Today, my dad gave me a speech about being gay. He said he'll accept me if that's who I truly am, but he wants me to think it over first. I'm an actor in a play. I had to explain the concept of wearing costumes and acting like someone else to him. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 081

You deserved it 4 247

Today, I was reminded once again how isolated I am while processing data errors. I work with sealed records, and I can't ask anyone for help, or share a laugh at any of the ridiculous names I see. Sigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 99

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 603

You deserved it 6 967

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 609

You deserved it 13 630