Loosey-goosey

By knickersdontfit - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 371
You deserved it 8 260

Top comments

chazzlerazzle 0

Wow, this FML totally brings back memories. Well okay, it may seem disjointed and unrelated at first, but it clicks together at the end. So there I was, back in 'Nam, on a routine patrol about five kliks out from Hanoi. There's me riding shotgun, looking real constipated, sparkling in the sunlight and staring out across the war-torn fields like a god damn wannabe vampire straight out of a really crappy book saga. Little Jimmy was in the back, having his way with a pre-pubescent gopher. Yeah, Jimmy always was a little cracked in the head, but God bless him, he saved my life when I accidentally walked into that Klan meeting wearing nothing but a **** me dress and a makeshift thong made from an elastic band. But I digress. We were rolling on back to base when it happened. An IED blew our nuts off, and it all went downhill from there. Say what you like about the Viet Cong, but they sure knew how to lay a good ambush. Thankfully, the sheer amount of light reflecting off my bare sparkling chest blinded them and we took a good few of 'em out before their air support rained chloroform-soaked panties down on our feminine forms. Well, what are you gonna do against that? Little Jimmy didn't stand a chance. Screamed "WIIIIIII!" like a man possessed and inhaled enough chloroform to kill an ox. Yeah, we were never quite the same after that. Quit the army and took to posting "WI" on first posts across the internet in honour of Lil' Jim, God rest his soul. Wee-woo.

FMLephant 2

Comments

>New Jersey >Currently Winter >OP wearing skirt/dress If you're dressing like that during the winter you are a ****/*****. Then again, must be a jersey thing.

ViolentBears 0

What if it's a dress or skirt that's down to her ankles? Would she be considered a **** then? What you did right there was just a very rude assumption.

Probably one of those puritanical *****. :P

What the ****? This shit stays up but my comment gets moderated? Good job FML mods. Ugh.

IHeartJimi02 0

How is she a **** for wearing a skirt or a dress during winter? It could have been a longer one. You should not assume things because you sound like a jerk.

#118: you mad #69 & #128: 1. This is the year 2011, not the 19th century, no one dresses like that anymore. 2. Had your scenario been the case, it wouldn't have been as embarrassing as people are making it to be. 3. The OP is from New Jersey; this adds to the fact that NO ONE wears long dress/skirts anymore, especially there of all places. Perhaps you ought to consider all the underlying facts before posting a comment hmm?

1. I wear ankle length skirts on a semi-regular basis. So yes people do still dress that way. 2. It would still be embarrassing because she would then either have to pull her underwear back up in the aisle or step out of it and put it in her purse. 3. There is no way you could say for sure that No One in Jersey dresses that way.

IHeartJimi02 0

I live in CT now but I am from Jersey so I know what people wear. Not everyone from Jersey wears slutty clothes like everyone says. I am not saying that op was wearing a skirt down to her ankles. All that I am saying is that she could have been wearing a pencil skirt which would go down to her knees. None of us know what she was wearing so we shouldn't just assume that because she is from Jersey she was wearing slutty clothes.

ItsEdible 0

You obviously deserve it. How did you not realize when you put them on that they were loose. I hope people saw this happen too cause this doesn't make sense in my book.

That's so embarrassing! But congratulations on your weight loss :)

wasanhm 3

you must have just walked by Chuck Norris!!! BOOYAH!!!! check yourself out, you might also be pregnant.

No, but there were many reports of buzzards falling from the sky and gagging to death.

mattitucklove01 0

wow great luck to you, keep up the great work.It's never easy sticking to a diet and it really working ! so very proud of you .