Intimacy: Loverman

FML for mobile
Free

Loverman

By dating a manchild - 01/06/2012 23:50 - Denmark - Hellerup

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 903

You deserved it 7 391

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 346

By Anonymous - 30/07/2013 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 262

You deserved it 3 704

Downhill from here

By forewhatnow - 07/11/2009 08:47 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 754

You deserved it 9 861

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 952

You deserved it 50 967

By Sharibabi65 - 07/03/2012 06:16 - United States

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 469

You deserved it 6 856

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 825

You deserved it 4 162

Snuggle up

By addictedtofml - 24/02/2009 07:31 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 822

You deserved it 19 987

DJ Perfectionist

By ImOverHere - 02/09/2012 16:56 - United States - Whitehouse

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 059

You deserved it 3 109

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 329

You deserved it 2 768

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 982

You deserved it 12 731

shift_love 13

Saturday 2 June 2012 5:51

Well? Didn't you want some? Why are you playing those love games?

mrszane93 5

Saturday 2 June 2012 5:57

Say " After you eat my pussy"

Comments

creampie18 5

Saturday 2 June 2012 7:12

He is a guy this is expected. Just say yes, you know you want it!

Shrike 23

Saturday 2 June 2012 7:21

Yeah, disgusting sexist generalizations are so funny when they're against MEN, right?

ayala92 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 14:56

Hey

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Tuesday 5 June 2012 21:37

I just met you

miss_sqwert 19

Saturday 2 June 2012 7:20

how is this an fml. i would have crackd up laughing. ydi for having no sense of humor

4204ever 0

Saturday 2 June 2012 7:21

Your boyfriend is the ******* man!! Haha

iamawriter1881 1

Saturday 2 June 2012 7:22

Sounds just like my boyfriend :/

Haven74 6

Saturday 2 June 2012 7:24

This would have been a perfect opportunity to have prepared Spotted Dick for dessert (look it up if you don't know what it is). Then you could have said "I was hoping you'd ask" excused yourself to retrieve the desserts and said "I just hope there's enough to satisfy both of us."

br0ccoli 14

Saturday 2 June 2012 7:26

Oh, the romance.

fenixtorador1 11

Saturday 2 June 2012 7:29

Favorite*

unknown_user5566 26

Saturday 2 June 2012 7:35

Well OP, you arranged this night for HIM. If that's how he wants the night to go, so be it. Now if he had arranged a romantic night for YOU, then I could see the dick comment being out of context.