Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Make it stop - FML

Make it stop

By shitty shit - 26/05/2015 15:40 - United States - Carmel

Spicy

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 196

You deserved it 3 901

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Same thing different taste

Not a good look

By tamponface - 30/07/2011 12:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 156

You deserved it 9 938

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Spicy

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 533

You deserved it 6 904

By Forever alone - 01/05/2015 14:24 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 712

You deserved it 12 509

By anonymous - 04/04/2013 22:52 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 748

You deserved it 4 195

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 659

You deserved it 3 338

Awkward

By Jeremy - 07/08/2009 02:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that I reminded her of her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 425

You deserved it 7 422

You happened

By Anonymous - 10/09/2009 09:13 - New Zealand

Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 7 854

Bad start

By Tripp - 14/07/2019 14:00

Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 619

By I'm stupid - 25/11/2012 15:08 - United States - Naperville

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 611

You deserved it 37 942

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 348

You deserved it 2 283

Next

Top comments

_kyleG_ 34

Wednesday 27 May 2015 0:37

At first, this sounded like she gave you the sex talk in kindergarten... I might be a bad person for this, but THAT would've been funny!

ktm71125 19

Wednesday 27 May 2015 0:34

We all have weird stories from childhood OP! Except the sex talk might have been awkward.

Comments

NickThunder 12

Wednesday 27 May 2015 19:39

Well... you ASKED so...

zainman13 26

Wednesday 27 May 2015 22:22

Yikes! Kindergarten !!! Fml indeed

I_amneen 3

Sunday 31 May 2015 12:13

Hahaha

coolbeansbruh 13

Monday 20 July 2015 11:02

If you're just now learning about sex u must me srsly young. You probably shouldn't be on this app...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 020

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 508

You deserved it 15 067

The Top

Today, I saw someone drive recklessly as if they were drunk. When I called the cops, I got pulled over by another cop for talking on my cell phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 165

You deserved it 17 612

Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 408

You deserved it 4 326

Today, after a number of other automotive misadventures, I tried to find out why my radiator fan decided to quit working. That's when my hood struts thought it would be a good time to give way. Now I have big bruise on my shoulder where the latch hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 151

Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 341

You deserved it 38 412

Today, we had to abandon a Winter Scout camping trip midway because of a blizzard. I was hauling my stuff out of the cabin. No one warned me about the icy steps. I slipped, landed on my tailbone, blacked out and saw stars. Everyone is now laughing at me and doing impressions of me rolling in the snow in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 108

Today, I found out that the motivational quote I've been living by for months is actually from a misattributed SpongeBob SquarePants meme. No wonder my colleagues looked at me strangely during team meetings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 543