Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Make it stop

Make it stop

By shitty shit - 26/05/2015 15:40 - United States - Carmel

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 196

You deserved it 3 901

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Same thing different taste

Not a good look

By tamponface - 30/07/2011 12:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 156

You deserved it 9 938

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 533

You deserved it 6 904

By Forever alone - 01/05/2015 14:24 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 712

You deserved it 12 509

By anonymous - 04/04/2013 22:52 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 748

You deserved it 4 195

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 659

You deserved it 3 338

Awkward

By Jeremy - 07/08/2009 02:03 - United States

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that I reminded her of her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 425

You deserved it 7 422

You happened

By Anonymous - 10/09/2009 09:13 - New Zealand

Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 7 854

Bad start

By Tripp - 14/07/2019 14:00

Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 619

By I'm stupid - 25/11/2012 15:08 - United States - Naperville

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 611

You deserved it 37 942

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 348

You deserved it 2 283

_kyleG_ 34

Wednesday 27 May 2015 0:37

At first, this sounded like she gave you the sex talk in kindergarten... I might be a bad person for this, but THAT would've been funny!

ktm71125 19

Wednesday 27 May 2015 0:34

We all have weird stories from childhood OP! Except the sex talk might have been awkward.

Comments

sparklegirl740 6

Wednesday 27 May 2015 3:57

That is the funniest story EVER!! ?

uglytwin 15

Wednesday 27 May 2015 4:28

Finally someone from the midwest ?

Hop6e 22

Wednesday 27 May 2015 4:31

If I saw that boy now I'd slap him. He doesn't realize the extent of the scars he caused, does he?

uhnevermind 24

Wednesday 27 May 2015 7:06

So you would assault someone because they kissed a girl on the cheek in kindergarten? And those "scars" are usually just called embarrassment.

ShadJV 0

Wednesday 27 May 2015 17:11

Scars? She didn't even remember the incident, her mother had to tell her the story!

Overlord247 20

Thursday 28 May 2015 0:29

Feminazi spotted

1dvos_grl3 21

Wednesday 27 May 2015 5:20

Haha that's adorable!

brucie1963 4

Wednesday 27 May 2015 6:59

never too soon to have the talk

TheDanBexfield 26

Wednesday 27 May 2015 8:24

This is perfectly normal behaviour for a parent. Being one, I should know. Look on the bright side, at least we all now know that kissing a girl on the cheek won't get them pregnant.

remometol 16

Wednesday 27 May 2015 9:34

Wait, a kiss doesn't get you pregnant!?

HUGBUG 23

Wednesday 27 May 2015 12:58

I got it when I was 7 so your lucky

anniepotatoes 12

Wednesday 27 May 2015 14:39

That's so cute

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 27 May 2015 17:04

I have to say how do mothers fit the sex talk into about everything...there has to be some way to get around it but I am beginning to think it's not possible

Fou_Lou 20

Thursday 28 May 2015 13:41

Its because parents dont want their kids getting sick, pregnant / someone pregnant because their kids think they know whats important but actually dont really have a clue what theyre actually doing and what is actually important.