Health, Gross, Annoying and Relatable: Mixology

Mixology

By Smokin' drinks - 24/10/2023 16:00 - South Africa - Durbanville

Today, for the 20th time, I poured wine into my ashtray, while the glass was next to it. I also have the bad habit of tipping my ash into my drink. What the fuck is wrong with me? Maybe I should look at what I'm doing instead of the PC screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 283

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Same thing different taste

By tryandtryagain - 28/04/2011 04:04 - United Kingdom

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 480

You deserved it 29 794

By smoker - 26/01/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 465

You deserved it 30 424

Smoking is bad

By ID10t - 10/11/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 812

You deserved it 53 876

By Anonymous - 17/07/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 439

You deserved it 90 827

The first step is admitting it

By The_failure - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found myself sitting in the bathroom at work searching the internet for the alcohol and caloric content of cool mint Listerine. I now believe that I may have a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 009

You deserved it 835

It's all my fault

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 052

You deserved it 39 418

By dumbblonde - 06/08/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 274

You deserved it 62 330

By trbaby - 14/02/2017 15:00 - United States - El Cajon

Today, I was at a house-warming party and my friend was in her kitchen making drinks. When I was almost done with my drink, I went to take the last gulp and saw three mouse turds stuck to the inside bottom of the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 793

You deserved it 551

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 4 011

By ellebelle - 15/11/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, I had to purchase a new flat screen TV for the bar I work at. Last night I was dared to break an ashtray against the wall. I completely missed the wall and smashed the screen of the new TV they bought last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 635

You deserved it 48 035

Anderling 32

Tuesday 24 October 2023 17:52

Looking what you're doing is probably the easiest fix here. Quitting smoking is the most permanent one. If you're dead set on doing things this way though, maybe set a place on one side of the screen for your glass and the ashtray on the other and never move either of them to the other side.

poopface82 19

Tuesday 24 October 2023 19:27

Now is probably a good time to switch to vape and taper off that. Less ash and smells better.

Comments

Anderling 32

Tuesday 24 October 2023 17:52

poopface82 19

Tuesday 24 October 2023 19:27

Now is probably a good time to switch to vape and taper off that. Less ash and smells better.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 25 October 2023 0:23

Alcoholism and nicotine addiction, at least. We don't know what you're looking at on the PC, but you could have problems with **** or gambling or both! That was an easy diagnosis.