Farts and Work: Morning hell

Morning hell

By BillLumberg - 03/02/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 608

You deserved it 24 814

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Same thing different taste

Fartmageddon.

By dusty bean - 18/11/2017 05:00

Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 717

You deserved it 605

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 454

You deserved it 4 992

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 639

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649

Elephant

By frank - 26/03/2021 23:01

Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 481

By Anonymous - 05/06/2011 20:45 - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 409

You deserved it 46 352

Bad day #74746

By orourkeda - 14/04/2021 10:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 20:38 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 881

You deserved it 5 185

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 494

Bad timing

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 6 078

Orchard 33

Tuesday 4 June 2013 22:18

I can top that OP. It was my freshman year of high school, and I had missed the bus and no one in my family could come get me from school. I was feeling pretty sick. Then this really nice, popular senior girl offered to give me a ride. With no other choice, I accepted. Less than halfway in the drive, I let one SBDF out because I just couldn't hold it, and we both suffered in the toxicity until we got to my house. It was awful, I was too embarrassed to say, "Roll the windows down I'm sorry!" And she was too nice to say anything at all or to put the AC on or roll the windows down on her own because then she would have acknowledged the fart. Thirteen years later I still have nightmares about it. So OP, I feel you but it could always be worse

802_CRU 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 6:18

take beano before and there'll BEANO gas!!!

Comments

802_CRU 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 6:18

take beano before and there'll BEANO gas!!!

FeelMuchBetter 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 6:05

That's why you should always have a book of matches on hand! They work wonders, and fast, on noxious gases!

alson 0

Monday 31 August 2009 9:26

Wtf

mmmad 0

Monday 5 April 2010 0:06

fyl, hope it passes

Einthe 0

Tuesday 13 April 2010 1:14

LOL

dont_stop_believ 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 6:40

ickkkk he was probably impressed blame it on ur dawg! oh wait...

skyttlz 32

Thursday 26 August 2010 2:22

lol what happened next

jadenstigman 0

Friday 25 March 2011 0:30

tell him you keep dead animals in your cubicle.

whiteboy11 1

Wednesday 11 May 2011 2:49

Haha you are now known to him as "guy who farts" to him.

crownlogic 25

Thursday 13 October 2011 7:32

But you're in a cubicle, not an office...you could have just looked up at him with a "What did you just DO?" look. Maybe he simultaneously released one and was going to blame it on you! You never know...