Farts and Work: Denial

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 495

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Same thing different taste

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 249

You deserved it 14 868

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 20:38 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 882

You deserved it 5 185

Sorry, I…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 835

You deserved it 6 955

Toot toot

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 397

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 365

You deserved it 8 112

It's a gas gas gas

By annie - 16/02/2023 04:00

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 765

By dealtit - 30/07/2014 03:49 - United States - Toccoa

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 167

You deserved it 6 846

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 823

You deserved it 42 655

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 13:34 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 687

You deserved it 7 225

Medieval_Unicorn 24

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:48

You gotta own it, assert dominance, they'll know you don't mess around if you make eye contact while it's happening

Stripez234 16

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:45

That... Is utterly hilarious

Comments

Stripez234 16

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:45

That... Is utterly hilarious

stevenbro 6

Thursday 8 September 2016 22:29

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

pandaxpress 19

Friday 9 September 2016 1:56

It was actually pretty damn useful and funny.

faeliality 20

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:48

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Zebediabolical 39

Thursday 8 September 2016 20:40

...this is how lifelong work nicknames happen.

Comebackkid420 7

Friday 9 September 2016 7:29

Why, because OP had a completely normal bodily function? Wow.

Winterborn253 7

Friday 9 September 2016 9:30

I believe "Shaggy" may be an appropriate nickname considering her comment.

andrmac 25

Saturday 10 September 2016 8:56

Well the "Fart Lady," Shartzilla and Countess Sharts-o-lot would be appropriate.

Medieval_Unicorn 24

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:48

You gotta own it, assert dominance, they'll know you don't mess around if you make eye contact while it's happening

Chikiriwak 17

Friday 9 September 2016 1:57

The most clever comment in here.

lambda_fml 40

Friday 9 September 2016 21:46

The most clever reply to a comment in here.

CamBamShamDaMan 26

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:49

If it wasn't you then who the hell was it?

DravensTheName 16

Thursday 8 September 2016 15:00

Can't tell if you're being sarcastic or you're just high..

MisterEx 28

Friday 9 September 2016 5:15

the dog.

stryder9090 28

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:49

No shame. Wear it like a champ.

Elban 20

Thursday 8 September 2016 18:14

Yup, bow and accept the applause.

Nickimariek 20

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:57

Well it must not have smelled bad enough to make them run away before figuring out who did it.

foolest 7

Thursday 8 September 2016 15:11

man that stinks

BDanzeisen 20

Thursday 8 September 2016 15:22

It wasn't me! Just being there sounds hilarious to me. Fyl

Andrewx8 12

Thursday 8 September 2016 15:23

Nice fart. Conflatulations.

Emma1562 35

Thursday 8 September 2016 17:20

You're punderful

FalloutScrolls 25

Thursday 8 September 2016 15:31

This made me laugh so hard, coca-cola shot out of my nose.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

The Top

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 703

You deserved it 3 472

Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 766

You deserved it 4 921

Today, in the most polite and friendly way I could think of, I told a friend that she's slightly too dramatic about things. She started throwing a fit, deleted my number, and ended our seven-year friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 325

Today, after my brother took his own life in 2020, my mother launched legal challenges to get 100% of the estate, as he'd left it to my sons as he had no kids. She was successful as the insurance company believed her lies with no proof. It took two years in court to overturn this. This ordeal has crippled me mentally and emotionally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 539

You deserved it 123

Today, I was in class with a water bottle on my desk. I was on my phone not paying attention, when some girl knocked it over by accident. I went to grab it, even though it was in the corner of my eye. I caught the bottle of water but I also happened to grab her ass at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 434

You deserved it 1 198

Today, I learned that the cancer patient in a foreign country I sent money too from an ad on TikTok was a deepfake AI used by scammers. I thought I'd actually helped someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 972

Denial

Same thing different taste

Sorry, I…

Toot toot

It's a gas gas gas

The sweet smell of success

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