Health, Sports, Relatable, Awkward and Intimacy: My eyes! My eyes! - FML

My eyes! My eyes!

By someone - 29/07/2011 18:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 5 389

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Same thing different taste

By Jake - 29/04/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 108

You deserved it 6 227

By fatguyinalittlecoat - 08/12/2009 19:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 918

You deserved it 5 279

By Alexismaria - 23/10/2014 20:05 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 778

You deserved it 3 280

Asshole

By WetWalking - 21/03/2013 13:31 - United States - Tyler

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 206

You deserved it 3 765

By Anonymous - 21/05/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 749

You deserved it 59 951

I like big butts and I cannot lie

By ThiccBoi - 02/05/2022 16:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I was yet again cat-called while out jogging, with many men calling me "sexy lady" and even commenting on my "birthing hips", all because I chose to wear compression pants. I'm not even a woman, I'm just a guy with a really big butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 282

Nuts

By dieders - 21/11/2016 06:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 839

You deserved it 1 143

Run!

By Anonymous - 05/11/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 808

You deserved it 37 583

By Good morning to you all - 20/06/2018 20:30

Today, since my dad decided he's tired of not being completely comfortable in his own home, he now wears only a knee-length robe without underwear so he can "really enjoy the breeze". I've seen more balls in a few days than a pro baseball player does his entire career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 822

You deserved it 414

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 05:13 - United States

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 835

You deserved it 5 813

Next

Top comments

Jarvo_666 6

Friday 29 July 2011 23:14

Some acid will get that image right off. :)

sandwichmaterial 5

Friday 29 July 2011 23:17

me gusta.

Comments

sebstar96 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 20:35

well why did you look?

iMagzzzy 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 2:40

So graphic.

aj01 3

Sunday 31 July 2011 4:14

so how long were you staring at him?

jessie007 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 6:22

too funny

harryman69 3

Sunday 31 July 2011 20:39

that's hot

Wast3dT1me 0

Monday 1 August 2011 0:21

wow ur really descrptive u should b an author

AyaTan_fml 5

Monday 1 August 2011 0:37

Um, accidentally did you watch Jackass? ))

jmanwade 0

Monday 1 August 2011 4:20

ydi for making that more complicated than it needed to be

minimog16uk 8

Monday 1 August 2011 16:09

Ewwww, thanks for the rather disturbing mental image your description provided OP....

gan4sula 2

Tuesday 2 August 2011 8:23

You sure know how to write

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Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird

The Top

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 364

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 943

You deserved it 4 466

The Top

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he said he needed to be with someone smart so that he could impress his parents. I just got accepted into medical school. When I pointed that out to him, he added that he needed to be with someone attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 754

You deserved it 4 679

Today, I shoveled snow at work. I had to because my co-workers refused to "get sick." I told my co-workers if anyone needs me, just tell them I'm shoveling snow. Our boss asked for me and they said that I left without punching. This also happened when I went out to water the flowers in the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 386

Today, when I left for work, my girlfriend had gorgeous, very long (down to her hips), dark red hair. When I came home from work, her head was shaved. I asked her why she did it, and all she said was, "I just got tired of taking care of it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 359

Today, I got pulled over for going a few miles per hour over the speed limit. The cop asked for my license and registration. I happened to look down at my wallet while he was processing everything and saw my license in my wallet. I gave the cop my fake I.D. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 715

You deserved it 66 310

Today, I was staying at a hotel and had a night terror. I woke up, yelled, "Fuck!" and realized I had shit the bed. I'd woken up my teenage daughter, who now knows I shit the bed in the middle night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 200

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 151

You deserved it 36 578