Health, Sports, Relatable, Awkward and Intimacy: My eyes! My eyes!

My eyes! My eyes!

By someone - 29/07/2011 18:26 - United States

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 5 389

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Same thing different taste

By Jake - 29/04/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 108

You deserved it 6 227

By fatguyinalittlecoat - 08/12/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 918

You deserved it 5 279

By Alexismaria - 23/10/2014 20:05 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 778

You deserved it 3 280

Asshole

By WetWalking - 21/03/2013 13:31 - United States - Tyler

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 206

You deserved it 3 765

By Anonymous - 21/05/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 749

You deserved it 59 951

I like big butts and I cannot lie

By ThiccBoi - 02/05/2022 16:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I was yet again cat-called while out jogging, with many men calling me "sexy lady" and even commenting on my "birthing hips", all because I chose to wear compression pants. I'm not even a woman, I'm just a guy with a really big butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 282

Nuts

By dieders - 21/11/2016 06:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 838

You deserved it 1 143

Run!

By Anonymous - 05/11/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 808

You deserved it 37 583

By Good morning to you all - 20/06/2018 20:30

Today, since my dad decided he's tired of not being completely comfortable in his own home, he now wears only a knee-length robe without underwear so he can "really enjoy the breeze". I've seen more balls in a few days than a pro baseball player does his entire career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 821

You deserved it 414

By Anonymous - 14/04/2016 05:13 - United States

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 834

You deserved it 5 813

Jarvo_666 6

Friday 29 July 2011 23:14

Some acid will get that image right off. :)

sandwichmaterial 5

Friday 29 July 2011 23:17

me gusta.

Comments

neongurl98 10

Saturday 30 July 2011 9:46

Thanks for painting us that wonderful picture in our minds :) SARCASM IMPLIED!)

saadiq 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 10:31

your a weird child

mickilla 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 10:57

poor you :(

scaryasfuck666 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 11:03

The way this was written annoyed me. And why did you look?

sketcher56 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 11:05

you have an iPhone 4??

X_Codes 11

Saturday 30 July 2011 11:21

So that's where Richard Simmons has been all these years.

fiju 15

Saturday 30 July 2011 11:29

I pictured it in slow motion :/

jhfireboy 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:48

Who likes short shorts?

IGotNippleRings 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:30

Could of been worse, could of seen his dong too.

MrBobby_fml 7

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:59

Disbelieve. Unless he has iron testicles. The pain of running with unrestrained balls would be about 50x the pain for a woman running with no bra.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 979

You deserved it 9 781

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

The Top

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 056

You deserved it 5 593

Today, my cheating ex-boyfriend was offered the job we both interviewed for. I helped him with his cover letter before I found out about the affair. I've been unemployed for almost two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 982

You deserved it 4 229

Today, after being unemployed for a couple of months, I got a call back from a security job I did for a week. But with a new condition: besides the security work, one day in the week they want me to cut grass, paint and clean up the grounds for the same minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 197

Today, I bought a brand new TV that cost a pretty penny. I took it home and it had a defect. After a lot of arguing, I was able to exchange the TV for another one. I got it home and it worked amazing. Later on, we had a bad rainstorm, which flooded my room and screwed up not only my new TV, but my PS5, Xbox, and laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 168

Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 161

You deserved it 2 103

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 658

You deserved it 3 680