Cats and Animals: My precious baby - FML

My precious baby

By Anonymous - 08/11/2013 23:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 679

You deserved it 8 734

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Same thing different taste

Roommate from Hell

By fishyrael - 08/08/2024 14:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, my extremely affectionate and docile cat, whom I love like a child and has never drawn blood, scratched my roommate of one day in the face while I was at work. She claims he just went ballistic, and I don't believe she's telling me everything. What the hell did she do to my cat? It's gonna be a long lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 126

By Nicole557 - 03/11/2011 10:56 - United States

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though. With my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 509

You deserved it 10 499

Let cats be cats

By Anonymous - 28/02/2022 06:00

Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 2 200

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 328

By good husband - 30/04/2013 16:03 - Canada

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 854

You deserved it 4 625

Feral kitty

By Polar Bear 2020 - 24/04/2024 17:30 - India

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 92

Cat mojo

By Oww - 09/08/2022 00:00

Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 165

Happy Caturday

By Cat Fight - 02/07/2022 15:00 - United States

Today, my cats started fighting again. Normally, I let them, because it's the only exercise they get. But this time one of my cats sliced the other's nose, and he responded by pinning her and nearly choking her to death. When I ran in to stop them, they teamed up against me. Ah, somethin' don't feel too good… FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 427

By aherdofpigs - 02/09/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 086

You deserved it 21 075

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 7 318

Next

Top comments

hghrider123456 9

Saturday 9 November 2013 5:07

So you get beat into submission by a pussy, I see nothing out of the ordinary here

DocBastard 38

Saturday 9 November 2013 5:10

ALL cats think like this. The difference between most cats and yours is that yours actually has the guts to go through with it.

Comments

zlew19 10

Friday 8 May 2015 2:52

Be more dominant. Don't act afraid of her. Train her.

CamIsUnlucky 12

Tuesday 26 May 2015 16:45

This is serious the proper authorities need to be alerted right away!!!

That1One1Chick 24

Monday 9 May 2016 19:34

If you truly don't want it then give it to your local no kill animal shelter.

ufc209 2

Thursday 2 March 2017 14:25

http://ufc209--live.us/ http://ufc209fight.us http://thurmanvsgarcia.us/

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 78

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 738

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 238

You deserved it 3 522

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 591

You deserved it 12 027

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 483

You deserved it 166 718

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 765

You deserved it 42 245

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 535

You deserved it 36 946

Today, I found out that my crazy stalker got a crazy stalker too. And she's also stalking me. So basically, I'm in some sort of a stalking triangle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 427

You deserved it 301