Sex and Intimacy: Nearly there

Nearly there

By baby_trex_arms - 05/05/2015 15:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 473

You deserved it 5 737

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 433

You deserved it 1 416

By Today - 07/09/2010 02:26 - United States

Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 303

You deserved it 6 597

No pain, no gain

By SailorVenus93 - 26/02/2021 02:01 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 207

Found it

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 437

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 5 722

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 579

By goldie09 - 18/02/2010 17:36 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 798

You deserved it 5 233

By geewhy - 26/12/2012 21:20 - United States - South Park

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 710

You deserved it 5 442

By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 15:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 697

You deserved it 12 999

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 368

You deserved it 34 715

Oppression_fml 19

Tuesday 5 May 2015 18:44

We all gotta start somewhere...

A07 48

Tuesday 5 May 2015 18:51

Cut him some slack OP, atleast he's trying, most guys don't even bother according to this site.

Comments

figure_of_bleach 0

Friday 8 May 2015 11:04

So...where was it?

Jayme5011 5

Friday 8 May 2015 23:30

He didn't know where it was ? Wtf?

Dean_Gulbarry 3

Monday 11 May 2015 7:22

"arby's where's the beef" "a little to the left..."

KelpytheG 1

Wednesday 13 May 2015 3:14

Ok. If he's THAT damn stupid, then obviously sex is not for him. I'm a 14 year old virgin and I know where the god damn ******** is

Our_name_ 14

Friday 29 May 2015 20:40

Hot.. Hot !! Burning !!

Dustmop 18

Friday 26 June 2015 8:47

Eh why not just put his hand there? Or point him the right direction I'm sure he'd be just as frustrated.

CankerSore 6

Sunday 2 August 2015 9:14

ok... but for how long?

MechanicalKid1 5

Monday 24 August 2015 3:49

Don't be a douche. He could have completely not even tried...

trollmasterlol 4

Sunday 25 October 2015 15:04

I have never been able to find the ********

isaac_newton 17

Saturday 19 March 2016 20:21

I'm 16 and I know. How dumb is your boyfriend?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 194

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 714

The Top

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 515

You deserved it 168

Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 510

You deserved it 13 590

Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What asshole can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 300

You deserved it 54 541

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 758

You deserved it 5 987

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 209

You deserved it 2 474

Today, my friend told me that he was having a Scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special Scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in, everyone was playing beer pong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 464

You deserved it 13 001