Porn and Wanker: Never check the history - FML

Never check the history

By mszoe - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 912

You deserved it 3 728

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Top comments

iTzSelverZz 14

Sunday 1 March 2015 16:28

Shrek is love ... Shrek is life

LizetteBerenice 22

Sunday 1 March 2015 16:26

Best kind of **** out there... Jk

Comments

DragonDude 24

Sunday 1 March 2015 17:31

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

abNormal62 23

Sunday 1 March 2015 17:32

I wi never be able to hear the phrase "come donkey" again without thing of this FML

clairesucks 37

Sunday 1 March 2015 18:44

Eww I hadn't thought of that before. Thanks #28

Mermaidhead 13

Sunday 1 March 2015 17:42

i wish i could fly out the window too when my boss walks in on me watching shrek **** on the work computer :/

KhaleesiDannie 26

Sunday 1 March 2015 17:51

Shrek is rule 34 king right now

Steve95401 49

Sunday 1 March 2015 17:53

Shrek **** sounds a lot better than My Little Pony **** - although the Bronies might disagree.

dannnngthatsux 19

Sunday 1 March 2015 19:06

Why take only one, My Little Shrek ****! 'Shrek, them ponies wuz for me!' 'Whoops! Don't think you want them now...'

MetalHead6112 4

Wednesday 4 March 2015 2:30

Dated a Brony. Trust me, the MLP is worse.

Narfstud 20

Sunday 1 March 2015 18:19

Could be worse I suppose.

Aseemdawg 18

Sunday 1 March 2015 18:24

At least it's not pineapple **** or something like that

dannnngthatsux 19

Sunday 1 March 2015 19:09

Ate you kidding? Only thing better than pineapple **** is sex in a pineapple ****! And when you're neighbor visits it turns into Hentai!!!

StickyPickles 33

Sunday 1 March 2015 18:38

I'm tempted now I won't lie

Oddglue 5

Sunday 1 March 2015 18:43

Serves you right for watching it

150493x 29

Sunday 1 March 2015 21:09

Considering it doesn't say anything about watching the **** and this is FML I doubt they watched it.

mt631 18

Sunday 1 March 2015 18:47

"That'll do donkey, that'll do."

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 537

You deserved it 10 056

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 692

The Top

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 243

You deserved it 13 231

Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 941

You deserved it 2 463

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 769

You deserved it 4 389

Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 027

You deserved it 46 455

Today, I showered with my wife for the first time in months, so I was excited. Once we got in, she was adjusting the temperature to something more comfortable. She then turned around and tell me to suck in my gut. After I did so, I slipped and ate shit, smacking my head on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 121

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 218

You deserved it 3 833