Weird, Creepypasta, Birds and Health: New creepypasta just dropped - FML

New creepypasta just dropped

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 08:34 - United States

Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 504

You deserved it 4 384

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Grooming tips

By love bitten - 14/07/2021 10:01 - Australia

Today, after two months of having a bird, she finally trusts me enough to perch on and even preen me. Unfortunately, it seems she thinks my freckles are lice and she's made it her mission to bite them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 157

Yeet the feet

By SalonGirl - 10/03/2009 11:55 - United States

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 622

You deserved it 7 286

Etiquette

By FootFlakes - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 412

You deserved it 4 517

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 00:19 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 520

You deserved it 2 026

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 996

You deserved it 18 158

By Herestheskinny - 29/04/2017 02:00

Today, I was helping a women that was looking for skin care products. She kept commenting on the look and "texture" of my skin in a very creepy and almost hungry fashion. I'm afraid that she wants to skin me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 588

You deserved it 490

By nyu - 25/01/2010 06:33 - United States

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 117

You deserved it 24 471

By Sarah - 18/07/2019 12:00

Today, I had the mole on my neck removed. By my pet bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 195

By caitplaysguitar - 09/02/2010 14:56 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet. And then fling it at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 238

You deserved it 6 531

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 11:11 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 363

You deserved it 2 575

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LEbleuDESreves 10

Saturday 24 June 2017 22:59

i hope you didn't plane on having a meal after that ...

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Here's the latest video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com, enjoy! Kay Akana, co-founder of 10secondtraumas.com, is also a stand-up comedian in LA. Do go and check out her performances, she did manage to make us lot laugh! ...

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Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

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Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 283

You deserved it 4 535

Today, I went to class to take an important final for which I studied all week long and worked hard in class. Today, the teacher also told us that anyone who had an A did not have to take the final. I missed out on a trip to the Bahamas for this. FML

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Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 416

You deserved it 1 989

Today, I'm tired of people pretending that autism is a great thing to have. I don't feel "great" when I'm hardly able to communicate with other people, crushing my independence, and making me unable to seek help. I just want to be normal, to be able to live on my own. I don't want to be a burden anymore. FML

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Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

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You deserved it 13 955

Today, I woke up at 4 a.m. to the smell of something burning. My husband and I checked the house, and I was convinced there was possibly an electric fire. Went back to bed, then when I woke again I remembered I'd straightened my hair the day before and that’s what the burnt smell was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 726