Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee and Miscellaneous: No, not now! - FML

No, not now!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Estonia - Tartu

Today, in a hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 798

You deserved it 1 044

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Same thing different taste

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 2 141

The Good Grandson

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 21:10

Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 204

By Obi1Shinobi - 30/10/2012 14:27 - United States

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 144

You deserved it 4 663

The future

By omen - 02/09/2020 10:01 - Indonesia - Majalengka

Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 125

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 02:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 876

You deserved it 2 784

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 02:00

Today, as caregiver, I had to physically remove the shit my grandpa had stuck in his rectum, because he doesn't remember how to shit. He barely knows who I am, which is good because when he remembers who he is, he becomes an abusive asshole. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 89

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 204

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 01:29 - United States

Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 491

You deserved it 2 376

Nice mental image

By Maggie - 17/03/2020 17:00

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 341

Next

Top comments

AbbotsfordVandal 14

Wednesday 7 September 2016 0:17

What I've found is that after a certain age you stop giving a shit and in this case, start taking *****

Justkidding100 41

Tuesday 6 September 2016 23:59

well... did you succeed?

Comments

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Wednesday 7 September 2016 2:39

Sounds like a shitt-*gets shot and stabbed multiple times*

wanted_2_want 40

Wednesday 7 September 2016 4:08

He may just wanted to "test" the product. 'Wink. Wink'. ?

JoshuaZore 11

Wednesday 7 September 2016 4:39

Well shit, your life sucks.

pins91 27

Wednesday 7 September 2016 4:42

I thought it said disabled toilets. ... I was like. .. there's nothing wrong with that hahaha

Skinyrd 17

Wednesday 7 September 2016 4:46

Who else thought of Jackass when the read this?

stressedartist 14

Wednesday 7 September 2016 5:39

i would make a pun but nah

Tyrax 16

Wednesday 7 September 2016 7:00

Care of the senile is no joke, well done OP. Thank you for giving a damn, and I'm sure the employees would thank you if they knew what hell you saved them from.

Talented73 54

Wednesday 7 September 2016 8:08

At least it wasn't projectile diarrhea.

Odin1624 12

Wednesday 7 September 2016 8:09

Hopefully you succeeded

ThrottleJockey 35

Wednesday 7 September 2016 8:16

Hey, they let you test fund cars. Why should crappers be any different?

Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Smells Love Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk Am I overreacting? Transportation AITA Alcohol Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, and ever since my fiance started eating apples instead of junk food, he now has horribly foul diarrhea every morning, and keeps insisting it's his body "flushing out the toxins." I'm about to rent a Porta Potty so our bathrooms don't smell like sewage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 120

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 3 968

The Top

Today, I was short on money for bills, so I pulled out my alto saxophone, knowing that no matter how much I loved it, I'd be able pay my rent with the money. As I pulled it out of its case, the neck strap broke and I dropped it, breaking the bell beyond repair. Now I'm poor AND depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 695

You deserved it 3 891

Today, a fake soldier tried to chat me up at a bar. I know he was fake because one of his medals is only given posthumously to soldiers who died in combat, like my own dad, yet this creep was claiming he earned it himself. When I confronted him, he busted out my front teeth before running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 127

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied, "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 460

You deserved it 7 092

Today, it turns out calling out my mother's best friend out for the right-wing conspiracy theorist she is wasn't one of my best ideas. Now, my mother won't even reply to my messages. It's been two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 503

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 973

You deserved it 5 579

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 023

You deserved it 9 308