Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee and Miscellaneous: No, not now! - FML

No, not now!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Estonia - Tartu

Today, in a hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 798

You deserved it 1 044

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Same thing different taste

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 2 141

The Good Grandson

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 21:10

Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 204

By Obi1Shinobi - 30/10/2012 14:27 - United States

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 144

You deserved it 4 663

The future

By omen - 02/09/2020 10:01 - Indonesia - Majalengka

Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 125

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 02:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 876

You deserved it 2 784

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 02:00

Today, as caregiver, I had to physically remove the shit my grandpa had stuck in his rectum, because he doesn't remember how to shit. He barely knows who I am, which is good because when he remembers who he is, he becomes an abusive asshole. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 89

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 204

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 01:29 - United States

Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 491

You deserved it 2 376

Nice mental image

By Maggie - 17/03/2020 17:00

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 341

Next

Top comments

AbbotsfordVandal 14

Wednesday 7 September 2016 0:17

What I've found is that after a certain age you stop giving a shit and in this case, start taking *****

Justkidding100 41

Tuesday 6 September 2016 23:59

well... did you succeed?

Comments

Justkidding100 41

Tuesday 6 September 2016 23:59

well... did you succeed?

The_Avatar 22

Wednesday 7 September 2016 0:05

Old age is a rough mistress. At least you love him enough to help him out.

pjsr 32

Wednesday 7 September 2016 0:06

Seems like I've seen this in a few movies and tv shows

emeraldarcher74 30

Wednesday 7 September 2016 0:08

Happy ********.

AbbotsfordVandal 14

Wednesday 7 September 2016 0:17

What I've found is that after a certain age you stop giving a shit and in this case, start taking *****

Muppet_B 3

Wednesday 7 September 2016 0:37

He must have got the idea from the first Jackass movie.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 7 September 2016 0:47

And your reward for your heroic deed: changing his crap-filled diaper. That ain't right.

HollyQuinn 21

Wednesday 7 September 2016 0:57

He should be on Jackass.

trucker2 33

Wednesday 7 September 2016 1:38

Next... Will be Bad Grandpa and a soda machine

mcruff 12

Wednesday 7 September 2016 1:50

Donald glover can kinda relate to this

RememberSchlitz 9

Wednesday 7 September 2016 2:15

As a former hardware store employee who has had to deal with that situation taken to its disgusting completion, I thank you on behalf of those who did not have to deal with it on this occasion. They know not from what you saved them.

Keywords

Cats Animals Awkward Work Christmas Health Embarrassing Anniversary Boredom Love Intimacy Abuse Ironic Alcohol AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Drunk Gun control Kids Parents Language Noise Mysterious Relatable Money Delivery Food Miscellaneous Family

The Top

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 998

You deserved it 42 387

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 786

You deserved it 22 717

The Top

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 312

You deserved it 4 999

Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 482

Today, I found out I need surgery, and the state medicaid insurance denied me full coverage for it, since my income is "over the limit". I make 35,000 a year and live in one of the most expensive states. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 108

Today, it’s been three hours since my girlfriend starting giving me the silent treatment. I went to the bakery to buy some pastries, so I asked her if she wanted any before I left. She said “No.” I came home with one pastry for myself and she threw a tantrum because she'd said “No” to see if I would get her one anyway. I’m confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 195

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 310

You deserved it 8 874

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 573

You deserved it 3 371