Miscellaneous: No rizz

No rizz

By blackitalian - 26/11/2010 15:43 - United States

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist, and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 158

You deserved it 31 823

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Same thing different taste

By Anon - 12/01/2012 19:24 - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 5 357

By antwo - 22/01/2012 04:50 - United States

Today, a cute girl was walking towards me. She held up her hand for a high five, so I also did the same. I hadn't noticed her friend behind me, and was left hanging and embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 193

You deserved it 6 387

Sorry Sharon

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 239

By epicfail - 02/08/2009 08:39 - United States

Today, I went to a local concert. The singer from my favorite band stage-dived and I got to catch him. Unfortunately I was the only one to catch him. The next thing I know I'm pinned between him and the concrete floor as he finishes whatever part of the song he was on. He was fine, I hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 325

You deserved it 5 707

By Great. - 18/05/2012 15:05 - United States - Billings

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 011

You deserved it 5 345

By sociallyawkward - 19/05/2016 01:52 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 694

You deserved it 3 511

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 393

You deserved it 18 019

Drugs, not hugs

By Anonymous - 26/08/2019 12:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, in a crowded hallway, I saw the guy I fancy standing in front of me, with his arms open wide. Thinking he wanted to hug me, I wrapped my arms around him and stepped back. He looked at me like I was nuts. I then realised he was trying to hug the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 636

By creeper - 03/09/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. When the show was over I got the chance to meet them. When I met the guitarist and told him my name, he recognized me. To my disappointment it was as the facebook creeper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 066

You deserved it 50 993

Show off

By a stupid jackass - 22/06/2012 01:28 - United States - New York

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 938

You deserved it 37 552

soccerchick02 3

Friday 26 November 2010 18:57

aaaaaaaaaaawkward

Flamehog9 0

Friday 26 November 2010 18:54

lol, fail much?

Comments

BeRealz 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 8:45

...... You sound so fuking racist.

ellamegan 0

Wednesday 1 December 2010 3:39

i just peed my pants laughing while imagining this :)

Coolbreezer 0

Wednesday 1 December 2010 6:16

lol...dude ...sounded more like paper rock scissors. lol.. did you say rock beats paper before running away?

molly91 4

Saturday 1 January 2011 2:51

Haha awesome made me laugh!

darksidehascooki_fml 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 4:46

funniest evah!!!!!

xnormanraganx 0

Friday 25 March 2011 17:00

Ha, ha.

SuperAnthony 7

Friday 27 May 2011 1:41

You should have said "paper beats rock, bitch!" before you ran away

itswhateveridk 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 21:20

which rapper? if it's a shit rapper than who cares.

michelleissexy 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 19:53

the only thing I can say is just lmao.

vikkisemple 0

Monday 20 June 2011 11:39

first decent fml.

Keywords

TV shows Miscellaneous Work Awkward Coworkers Politics Transportation Embarrassing Ironic Relatable Social Media Instagram Parenting Shopping AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Love Kids Pranks Friends Dogs Housework Cars Porn Technology Sports Health Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 031

You deserved it 4 249

The Top

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 667

You deserved it 992

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 458

Today, I had to tell a parent about her son kicking a boy in his class. She blamed me for not watching him. I wasn't watching him because I was turned around to care for another boy he had hit right before that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 711

You deserved it 2 132

Today, I picked up my laundry from the wash-and-fold and proceeded to put everything away. I noticed a hand towel that wasn't mine and made a mental note to return it; turned out they'd given me someone else's boxers as well. My boyfriend doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 585

You deserved it 1 142

It's ok, they've got 9 lives.

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 88

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 294

You deserved it 5 774