Intimacy: Not now!

Not now!

By Ineedit - 26/02/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 116

You deserved it 2 576

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 16:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 733

You deserved it 37 374

Mama's Boy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 04:00 - United States

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 785

You deserved it 600

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 220

You deserved it 8 138

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 1 814

Not now

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 23:00

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 267

Just once

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 20:00

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 201

Cockblocked

By sad gf - 14/11/2010 20:29

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to wish us a happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us again and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 886

You deserved it 5 862

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 060

You deserved it 16 176

Weird family

By Veronica - 29/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 2 085

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 04:25 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 899

You deserved it 6 510

masterblaster39 0

Friday 26 February 2010 23:07

according to my wife.....******** only take 4 minutes!

swaggintothamax 0

Monday 28 February 2011 11:09

15 is a wayy too long. I'd be bored by then

Comments

strandedinalimo 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 8:20

Five minutes is plenty of time lol.

topbanana 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 8:54

very annoying

suppressed08 2

Saturday 27 February 2010 11:15

I've just realised this: so how olds the baby?

laurenjayne 3

Saturday 27 February 2010 11:46

you are such a nerd !

erjaguam 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 13:03

she only called when she's five minutes away? wow.

delfoxio 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 23:40

wait u say that its ur kid but then his mom called...?

babybubz 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 5:37

her HUSBANDS mother... is it really that hard to understand?

Troll_Hater 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 4:31

Shut the **** up, shit head. No one wants to hear you correct other people's grammar. Fag....

beastlydevon 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 10:31

lol 69 WTF do you think your doing to boots?bashing him. i don't like snicker... she acts like she's the ruler of fml... so what if the op spelt something wrong it doesn't make u in charge to correct or contridict them...