Awkward, Wanker and Intimacy: O face - FML

O face

By Anonymous - 25/04/2015 17:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 583

You deserved it 6 631

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 06:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 365

You deserved it 275 730

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 663

You deserved it 10 158

Knock first

By jesus christ, dad - 06/09/2013 16:48 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Spicy

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 915

You deserved it 7 073

By sally - 25/01/2014 17:42 - United States - Augusta

Spicy

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 767

You deserved it 9 479

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 138

You deserved it 559

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 360

You deserved it 665

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 102

You deserved it 8 900

By meggasee - 25/01/2010 00:23 - France

Spicy

Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when my mother walked in. We had no blankets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 879

You deserved it 8 322

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 477

You deserved it 6 198

Lock it up

By stickyface - 24/10/2010 05:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 059

You deserved it 41 812

Next

Top comments

KK3137 31

Sunday 26 April 2015 12:47

So I guess you both came in the wrong place at the wrong time..

KuronoEru 26

Sunday 26 April 2015 12:45

I'm sorry that you have to avoid your dad for the rest of your life now..

Comments

amccaul1976 8

Monday 27 April 2015 21:54

I am kinda disturbed that this was posted by a couple rather than a male or female. I hope that the male/female symbol on the end related to a different post and not the one about the dad.. could be Alabama I guess.

PurpleKicks 22

Tuesday 28 April 2015 3:11

You'll never forget your first time =P lol

Bruno501 8

Wednesday 29 April 2015 0:41

Pics or it didn't happen ;)

tamesenicole 27

Wednesday 29 April 2015 23:06

Lock your stupid door!

imbedderdenu 23

Friday 1 May 2015 20:29

lock your door. and as a parent. Welp our house our right.

brockizkool 3

Saturday 2 May 2015 3:27

Not your vinegar strokes! (The league reference)

bigcountry80128 8

Sunday 3 May 2015 14:00

Time to get your own place.

kimespinosa 13

Tuesday 12 May 2015 18:37

This is the worst FML I have ever read. This is terrible ?

GodfriedGrobler 8

Tuesday 19 May 2015 22:30

Locks for cocks!

kingrod 10

Monday 25 May 2015 9:06

at least u didn't squirt at him

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Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Work Money DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 088

You deserved it 160

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 980

The Top

Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 971

You deserved it 4 991

Today, my workplace was issued aprons. I then became the first and only employee in the history of the business to set an apron on fire while using the grill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 844

You deserved it 5 929

Today, I told the man I've been in love with for 3 years, who also happens to be my boss, how I felt. He responds by filing sexual harassment charges against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 779

You deserved it 35 195

Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 668

You deserved it 37 313

Today, I found out that, although I have the same job title and complete the same work as my male colleagues, I get paid 15% less, purely because I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 714

You deserved it 8 722

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 311

You deserved it 7 251