Sports and Animals: On the run

On the run

By broussimousse - 10/03/2009 20:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 064

You deserved it 32 624

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Same thing different taste

By lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 849

You deserved it 9 501

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 898

You deserved it 3 639

By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 950

You deserved it 4 834

By schmoodles - 07/05/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 805

You deserved it 70 912

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 989

You deserved it 4 573

Smooth

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 546

By poisonivyretard - 04/06/2013 17:15 - United States - Narragansett

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 550

You deserved it 52 003

By Eli123 - 01/05/2009 00:52 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 499

You deserved it 51 816

By Tom - 06/06/2017 11:00 - United States - Antelope

Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 510

You deserved it 459

Autumn vibes

By Robbo - 26/10/2024 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I went for a jog to enjoy the fall weather. I tripped over a tree root and fell face-first into a pile of leaves. As I tried to get up, a bunch of kids had gathered to laugh, and one even shouted something about, “A grown-ass man playing in the leaves!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 87

lolajelly 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:22

why the hell would you use a leaf? tempted by their amazing absorbent properties??

stephfml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:17

hahah you shouldve just used your shirt

Comments

lifepwns 0

Friday 13 March 2009 18:33

Wow are you that worried about your appearance? You guys were running, its not like he wasn't sweating either. I'm sure he wouldn't have thought less of you cause you were sweating while running... Heaven forbid! #53 LOL

MothaTrucka 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 7:32

wow....a ******* leaf?????

Lanni 0

Monday 16 March 2009 0:39

High score for the retard

key_killer 0

Monday 16 March 2009 22:18

using a leaf and spelling the story incorrectly...I'm impressed...

legendbyday 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 15:35

leaf? to wipe your sweat? yeah right? you and the bird's ass might have the same IQ

FoundManyLemons 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 8:22

Seriously, people sweat when they run, even that guy. And you know this!

5pawn13 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 7:36

This may surprise you but a lot of men like seeing women sweat (I assume you are a woman). As long as it doesn't reek, where if you're running he wouldnt be able to smell it easilly anyway.

nafiul93 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 3:49

#23 PROPS made me laff

carmel 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 14:06

What? Who wipes their face with a leaf? That wouldn't even help the sweat anyway but hahahahaha! that's hilarious! Why wouldn't you look at the leaf before you wiped your face with it?