Intimacy: Ostentatious

Ostentatious

By dgordo3 - 09/02/2009 01:01 - United States

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 435

You deserved it 46 510

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Same thing different taste

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 327

You deserved it 68 710

Get on with it

By deflated - 09/08/2009 16:54 - Ireland

Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 822

You deserved it 59 759

By mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 161

You deserved it 4 709

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 044

You deserved it 5 428

Escape route

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 748

You deserved it 17 917

By hornyloser770 - 01/03/2010 02:15 - France

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 372

You deserved it 11 016

By RohnAbheek - 21/08/2011 17:36 - India

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 215

You deserved it 47 338

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 577

You deserved it 69 630

By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 802

You deserved it 30 068

By Anonymous - 04/09/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 295

You deserved it 6 391

sensual_kidney 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 2:48

keep your hand in your pocket. If you get a boner, you can hold it down discretely. Works every time *thumbs up*

TC_fml 0

Monday 9 February 2009 4:04

What's that old saying? Oh, if you got it... flaunt it! If I was her, I'd take that as a huge compliment and be absolutely flattered. Now if you started a shadow puppet show.... LOL teasing.

Comments

glitterbabe224 0

Friday 21 May 2010 4:17

an erection from the thought of a possible KISS?! woahh, boy. umm, your life sucks.

SaturnE_fml 0

Tuesday 15 June 2010 16:32

Hey, sometimes a guy gets an erection from strong emotional feelings, an erection is hormonally induced. You understand how they work right? The fact he cares strongly about her and finds her incredibly attractive is the main thing. Jesus, you and the rest of the "OMG a kiss" crowd will forever be posting "Today, the [guy|gal] I really like left after nutting on my face -- to goto my housemate's room. He was still naked. FML." Some women get wet over kissing and cuddling, so do some guys. It's deep emotional response. And then again, random boners can occur while burying your favourite pet, or because you simply have a penis. No one complains your vag has slimy discharge through the day that solidifies into crusty salt-like balls of ick.. Or that your underwear looks like a family of snails were marauding through your intestines. So, before you go criticizing other people's physiology make sure your own at least sounds sexy in print.

oarisimo 4

Wednesday 30 June 2010 7:38

lol 57! crust like balls of ick

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Tuesday 17 August 2010 16:31

#57 "Today, the gal I really like left after nutting on my face" kinky

longtimesunshine 4

Monday 20 May 2013 5:02

57 yes I was just thinking the same thing. glitterbabe hi maybe the thought of kissing her was just that exciting? slow down a little let someone kiss you without sleeping with them

lanester25 0

Thursday 17 June 2010 9:03

took it in the waisteband man then run xD have u like never had wood b4??

MiGman 5

Thursday 24 June 2010 3:08

#2 that means reaching into your pants. I also tried that once and it poked out if my pants so it not a good idea

hipgurl 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 15:24

once i tucked my bf's penis for him. it stuck out the top xD thank god he had a long shirt on on top.. i kept teasing him. ;) anyways i **** the guy if he drops me home :)