Intimacy: Outdoorsy

Outdoorsy

By Anonymous - 22/03/2012 03:21 - United States - London

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cockblocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 823

You deserved it 7 234

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Same thing different taste

Camping out

By Baggabbles123 - 08/06/2009 23:24 - Canada

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent, causing the girl to scream and run away. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 408

You deserved it 9 335

Close call

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 170

Bear with me

By bear food - 08/01/2014 04:37 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 736

You deserved it 5 549

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 687

You deserved it 5 352

What happens in the woods stays in the woods

By sulfuric_acid - 10/08/2021 06:01 - Canada

Today, on Facebook, I noticed my friend had posted a picture entitled, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" Curious, I checked it out and discovered that while on our hunting trip, my friends took a picture of me, pants around my ankles, leaned up against a tree taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 205

By Noname - 14/03/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 891

You deserved it 11 788

By poisonivyretard - 04/06/2013 17:15 - United States - Narragansett

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 549

You deserved it 52 003

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 522

Out in the wild

By Welpthatwasfast - 10/06/2016 07:57

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 452

You deserved it 2 162

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 12:53 - United States

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 589

You deserved it 4 252

beccaishereyay 11

Thursday 22 March 2012 8:46

Doesn't matter, had sex

mama2b3 20

Thursday 22 March 2012 8:49

Pussy. A real man woulda asked the bear to join, then made it his bitch!

Comments

MigraineurOfLife 15

Thursday 22 March 2012 12:40

It was Smokey the Bear making sure you didn't start a fire in his woods with all your hot sex. Mission accomplished!

Mayshod 3

Thursday 22 March 2012 12:42

I don't see this as an FML as long as no one got hurt. This is a hilarious life long memory that I would treasure. Plus after escaping the bear they probably had "I'm so glad to be alive and not mauled by a bear" sex. And that's a rare and joyous event. I keep trying to set that up with my fiance but the zoo wont let us visit anymore.

cookeemonster 7

Thursday 22 March 2012 12:44

31- that's what I meant. I don't really care if she on FML but it was the comment that made me say it. ^^ person above me, I also agree but still. Sorry to the girl's post I'm commenting on, but you get what I mean.

ac11_fml 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 13:09

At least u didn't die

rubberduckie94 13

Thursday 22 March 2012 13:21

I remember sex in the woods with my first boyfriend. It is absolutely amazing. ; ). We were lucky I guess though we only heard peacocks when we were at a certain spot. Have fun. Be safe, use a condom. Don't get ate......well by a you know, by a bear your boyfriend can do whatever he wants.