Love, Sex and Awkward: Paging Sigmund Freud - FML

Paging Sigmund Freud

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend, who used to have the sex drive of a rabbit on Viagra, has recently lost all interest. It turns out that because her dad finally approves of me, she’s no longer interested in me. Apparently she only lusted after me when her dad didn’t like me, so now I’m of no interest to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 119

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Turntables

By Bill Mantie - 18/04/2021 02:00

Spicy

Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 147

Permission granted and rejected

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 120

By Junior - 26/01/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 718

You deserved it 2 963

Talk to me

By iMarriedmymother - 07/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 936

You deserved it 2 553

Gone to the dogs

By Anonymous - 02/06/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend started crying because I occasionally text a work friend, for whom I have zero interest in. My girlfriend's medication has completely killed her sex drive and she no longer wants to be touched at all. She acts like hanging out with anyone is a chore. My social interaction is down to just our dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 211

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 554

You deserved it 17 596

By nadette - 25/05/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 683

You deserved it 3 976

Libido says no

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Spicy

Today, I discovered my girlfriend of 5 years would rather split up than make any shred of effort to revive her utterly dead libido from the last 2 years. She promised the whole past month to make an effort, before admitting she never gave a shit when my patience with her ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 786

Daddy

By Anonymous - 07/06/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I have come to accept that my girlfriend has such obvious daddy issues that I can only turn her on by dressing/acting/sounding like him, but not too obviously because if she realises that’s what I’m doing, she screams, “I do not want to have sex with my dad!” then starts crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 170

Tricky situation

By fml9124 - 08/10/2020 10:01 - United States - Omaha

Spicy

Today, my wife gave me the green light to have sex with other women. She beat the cancer, but sex for her is now painful and she wasn't really interested in sex the last 10 years anyway. So why does my life suck? Because I don't want sex with anyone else. Now she's mad at me for making her feel guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 218

Next

Top comments

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 13 April 2024 22:28

Then you should try to make a deal with her father!

Justkidding100 41

Saturday 13 April 2024 23:57

finding a girlfriend that like sex isn't that hard. find one that actually likes you instead of just hating her dad.

Comments

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 13 April 2024 22:28

Then you should try to make a deal with her father!

Justkidding100 41

Saturday 13 April 2024 23:57

finding a girlfriend that like sex isn't that hard. find one that actually likes you instead of just hating her dad.

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The Top

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 272

You deserved it 3 976

Today, I came home from class to find a nasty note on my roommate's toaster oven. Apparently, cleaning it once a week isn't enough, and she wants it cleaned right after using it, which she never told me all school year. I'm banned from using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 330

The Top

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 731

You deserved it 3 080

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 742

You deserved it 8 497

Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 85

Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 302

You deserved it 7 560

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 171

You deserved it 3 789

Today, our cleaning lady's son came to our house claiming that his mother had died of a heart attack. We gave him her entire month's salary as well as some extra money. A few hours later, our cleaning lady turned up for work. Turns out she doesn't have a son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 406

You deserved it 22 950