Libido says no

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Spicy
Today, I discovered my girlfriend of 5 years would rather split up than make any shred of effort to revive her utterly dead libido from the last 2 years. She promised the whole past month to make an effort, before admitting she never gave a shit when my patience with her ran out. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 879
You deserved it 786
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Top comments

Plop 17

I doubt you pressuring her to "work" on her libido helped much in the first place. As surprising as it may sound, sex isn't supposed to be work (well, except for those people who make a living form it). Pushing for sex is an absolute turn off if your partner is not in the mood. Especially since it seems like her sex drive was at least fine for about 3 years of your relationship, there may have been an underlying reason for the change, which you don't really sound like you tried to figure out in the first place. I'm not saying it's not possible that OP's girlfriend just "gave up" on sex, but it's at least equally likely that OP stopped trying to make sex enjoyable to her, prompting her giving up.

26 5
rebelwithmouseyhair 18

If she had a great sex drive before, what happened? Kids? The pill? Or maybe you're a lousy lover? Apparently doing all the cooking cleaning shopping while your lover plays video games on the couch is a huge turn off... So you see she is probably not the one who needs to make an effort.

17 6

Comments

RichardPencil 30

You should just talk to her about: A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido. Yeah, that'll put her in nirvana.

6 6
Plop 17

I doubt you pressuring her to "work" on her libido helped much in the first place. As surprising as it may sound, sex isn't supposed to be work (well, except for those people who make a living form it). Pushing for sex is an absolute turn off if your partner is not in the mood. Especially since it seems like her sex drive was at least fine for about 3 years of your relationship, there may have been an underlying reason for the change, which you don't really sound like you tried to figure out in the first place. I'm not saying it's not possible that OP's girlfriend just "gave up" on sex, but it's at least equally likely that OP stopped trying to make sex enjoyable to her, prompting her giving up.

26 5
rebelwithmouseyhair 18

If she had a great sex drive before, what happened? Kids? The pill? Or maybe you're a lousy lover? Apparently doing all the cooking cleaning shopping while your lover plays video games on the couch is a huge turn off... So you see she is probably not the one who needs to make an effort.

17 6
mentalissues 12

If you left her just because she didn’t wanna have sex then you never really loved or cared about her and are just a bad person with a sex addiction....

9 17
mentalissues 12

If you left her just because she didn’t wanna have sex then you never loved or cared about her

3 11
clair_brodie 35

He wanted effort, she gave none and then said she didn't care and that she wants to break up. How is this his fault?

1 0
clair_brodie 35

If you read the first sentence she wants to leave him.

1 0
cpguru24 16

A lot of assumptions in this comment section. To deny that a physical relationship is just as important as an emotional or mental relationship, is just simply you not being honest with yourself. Not that there aren't outlier situations. A healthy physical relationship is just as important as just being there emotionally for one another. OP - ultimately she may not be fulfilled physically. It is hard to swallow and may have nothing to do with you or how you perform. I supported my wife as she came out as bi, and then lesbian. There was just nothing I could have done differently to fulfill her needs. It was terribly painful to admit and almost ripped me apart loosing her. But being supportive or at the very least ending on as positive terms as possible is better for everyone involved. Good luck.

0 0
lateralligator 12

I guess its better she finds out you're a selfish POS now than in 20 years when she has a major illness or grows old and isn't "performing"

8 3
wawa_sxm 15

wow so much hate up in here...but I promise you if a man didn't have sex with his wife for 2 years they would be screaming divorce. You did your part, she doesn't care how you feel, if she wont make an effort it means shes not interested in sex with you Maybe shes interested in someone else.....just move on

2 2
Silver_helmet 10

The end of passion. As some said, maybe you want to look into how you do things, in the bedroom and outside. if you are living together, remember that a woman cannot be in the kitchen and in the bedroom at the same time (=sharing household chores is important). If you do not live together, dates and flowers are important, as if it was a person you need to win over every day. And last... maybe your time is up.

6 2