Miscellaneous: Pay up

Pay up

By ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV - 07/11/2009 17:01 - United States

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 329

You deserved it 4 911

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Public freakout

By Anonymous - 07/05/2021 06:00

Today, some punk got up in my face yelling at me, pushed my wife and scratched my car with a, "What you gonna do, old man?" attitude, and yet I’m the bad guy who gets arrested because I open-palm slapped him and he fell into a glass window and fucked up his face and neck, probably permanently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 364

By doblex - 20/12/2012 11:19 - United States

Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 387

You deserved it 9 061

By Matthew - 27/11/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 891

You deserved it 4 583

Caveman behaviour

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 04:00

Today, I tried to win back my ex by fighting her current boyfriend. He kicked my ass. Now I have a broken jaw and a court date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 2 434

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 645

You deserved it 5 909

By OhDamn - 16/09/2009 06:34 - United Kingdom

Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 011

You deserved it 3 006

By robbed - 03/09/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 292

You deserved it 24 356

By Kyokushin - 03/06/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 945

You deserved it 20 204

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 161

You deserved it 54 041

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 226

You deserved it 2 475

fuckyou1337 0

Saturday 7 November 2009 23:37

That's gonna get thrown out of court rather quickly. Also, sue him bactoor the emotional trauma you suffered of walking in on a robbery :P

SaintJimmy 0

Saturday 7 November 2009 23:32

Nobody said our justice system was perfect, but it still sucks super bad for you.

Comments

Kondustra 8

Sunday 8 November 2009 0:45

YDI for not shooting the sonuvabitch in the ******* face. dead men tell no tales my friend

ihate10mtn 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 0:52

that is why i carry a firearm. shoot him then plant a knife. it works every time.

n42nate 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 0:52

Where I am if you would have killed him all you would need is evidence of a threat

Darkon 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 0:53

replies are messing up.

Lamata 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 0:54

One more reason why it sucks to live in the United States of America.

Kondustra 8

Sunday 8 November 2009 1:02

correction: this only happens to people who arent staunch supporters of the second amendment. i myself and my family all have concealed carry licenses and i NEVER go anywhere with out my .45 if some1 had broke into my home and id caught them the last thing they wouldve seen would be a muzzle flash and me grinning

JADEstokesxo 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 1:00

hahah; your nickname... and sucks. what a bitchh!

lovemyfml 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 1:00

The law is that if you had acted in a way that a reasonable person would act. If he had a weapon, things would be different, but you didn't know and he didn't assault you first soo...sorry, bad luck.