Intimacy: Peek a boo

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 060

You deserved it 16 176

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 1 814

Can't catch a break

By Anonymous - 22/04/2023 18:30 - India - Bengaluru

Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 372

By Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 2 477

Parenting is exhausting

By ThreeWeeksWithoutSex - 28/12/2015 05:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 364

You deserved it 2 906

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 395

You deserved it 11 794

Not now

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 23:00

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 267

Time for some DIY

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 22:00

Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 375

By anon - 13/01/2014 01:53 - United States - Bullhead City

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 496

You deserved it 36 795

Boundaries

By Alock - 08/09/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 89

By Married Life 101 - 16/05/2019 02:41

Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 556

You deserved it 242

foxwasalamb 24

Thursday 8 May 2014 12:03

a lock on your door would have cum in handy ;) gotta love kids tho

bromeister 6

Thursday 8 May 2014 12:02

Time for birds and bees

Comments

bazookajoey 27

Thursday 8 May 2014 22:39

Sweetie once you have kids privacy no longer exists. Invest in a lock

elcee1987 18

Thursday 8 May 2014 22:41

I love all the hindsight advice. Profound.

andycee2000 5

Friday 9 May 2014 14:35

Yeah that's fmylife.com. We don't own our house so "just put a lock on it" isn't so easy. "Get the kids babysat" is hilarious. It's a funny story but hardly traumatic.

taysalot 2

Thursday 8 May 2014 22:57

f his life

scubanick 10

Thursday 8 May 2014 23:12

I think I saw his FML

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 8 May 2014 23:29

Well this will be an interesting explanation...lock your door next time or have a baby sitter while you go our for your fun

wigglecow 3

Friday 9 May 2014 0:13

That's hot

kat_moore15 12

Friday 9 May 2014 0:39

Ah. He's traumatized forever.

supersquirel500 10

Friday 9 May 2014 0:50

as as he is 4 or younger. He won't remember it by the time he grows up.

Fmlsea 28

Friday 9 May 2014 3:06

This is why you should teach your kids that when the door is closed to knock before entering! To everyone saying what if op doesn't have a lock, seriously its not that hard to install a lock on your door. the hardware stores have locks for a few dollars .