Poopoo peepee and Kids: Pissed - FML

Pissed

By holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 075

You deserved it 33 446

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 945

You deserved it 2 841

Unpleasant

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 103

By wetbutt - 06/03/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 993

You deserved it 68 588

By smells like ass - 29/12/2016 03:05

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 049

You deserved it 418

Right in the nuts

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 06:01

Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 244

By smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 065

You deserved it 8 506

Freeloadin' freewheelin'

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 04:00

Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 92

By jeeperspeepers - 02/08/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 132

You deserved it 132 923

By Kutakito - 15/04/2013 20:18 - Sweden - Saltsj?baden

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 414

You deserved it 12 296

By GaveAnInchTakeAMile - 11/05/2013 09:52 - United States

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 584

You deserved it 5 854

Next

Top comments

i_got_it 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:31

Imagine what he would've did if you said **** off.

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:38

He's got good aim. You should've done the same thing. Have like, a fight via streams to see whose stream is mightier.

Comments

DeathShad0 1

Thursday 22 October 2009 5:05

YDI? No. FYL. Seriously people. I'm sure those of you who have siblings have told them to piss off at one point or another.

wordgirl 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 5:06

harhar...better than across the pond, where the equivalent would have been f- you. Need I say more?

pokypunk 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:27

See.... North Americans don't really have this problem except for douche cocks that like to pretend they're..... United Kingdomian? wtf do you call someone from the UK?

Tremble 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:43

Hahaha. I think they're British, or English. Or just, you know, cocky.

sephirothyeti 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:59

Are you stupid? They are British, English, Scottish, or Welsh. Do you think people from the US are called United Statesians? Or that people from the Republic of Congo are called Republic of Congonians?

adamisserious 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 17:01

Great point. I hate the amount of ignorance on this website.

arsenalfcboy 6

Thursday 22 October 2009 17:16

OR Northern Irish *waits for the IRA to blow up my house*

Maxine17 8

Thursday 22 October 2009 19:47

pokypunk has officially made one of the stupidest comments of all time. United Kindioms? Well done *claps*

sephirothyeti 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 20:39

That's precisely why I didn't mention that. Didn't want to cause any controversy.

DameGreyWulf 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 6:55

Good thing you didn't say "Piss off, you wanker"

violette_fml 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:38

Lol. Indeed.

FYLbutYDI 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:12

Lol win.

D_Snow 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:21

hahaha! what a smart kid.

DynamicDave 11

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:31

Your brother is a champion.

_Noon_ 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:47

What's with all the comments?! Anyway, FYL, but I have to say, your brother is awesome.

DameGreyWulf 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:51

They've been struck with magnificence. That is what.

mushoo_fml 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 7:57

The first 55 comments all buried? WTF?

cmac86 23

Thursday 22 October 2009 8:06

on your lap? that sounds like you purposely positioned yourself to catch it. good thing you didn't tell him to jerk off or **** off!

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Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird

The Top

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 833

You deserved it 6 059

USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

The Top

Today, my Orthodox Jewish cousin’s father called his wife’s Reform Jewish family “a bunch of monkey lovers” in his Bat Mitzvah toast. Worst yet, he did basically the same thing at his daughter from his first marriage’s Bat Mitzvah toast, and mentioned this fact in the speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 120

Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 496

You deserved it 2 626

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 499

You deserved it 1 961

Today I’ve been called a prude, a misogynist, a controlling bastard and worse all because I have a problem with my girlfriend masturbating for strangers online. She has an OnlyFans and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 793

You deserved it 418

Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 418

You deserved it 3 137

Today, my 9 year-old daughter had really bad constipation. When I took her to the doctor, he had to 'break it up' with a gloved finger, and then he sent me home with directions on how to administer an enema. I do not recommend trying to give an enema to a kid that doesn't want one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 476

You deserved it 1 027