Poopoo peepee and Kids: Pissed

Pissed

By holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 075

You deserved it 33 446

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 945

You deserved it 2 841

Unpleasant

By Anonymous - 13/05/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 103

By wetbutt - 06/03/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 993

You deserved it 68 588

By smells like ass - 29/12/2016 03:05

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 049

You deserved it 418

Right in the nuts

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 06:01

Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 244

By smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 065

You deserved it 8 506

Freeloadin' freewheelin'

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 04:00

Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 92

By jeeperspeepers - 02/08/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 132

You deserved it 132 923

By Kutakito - 15/04/2013 20:18 - Sweden - Saltsj?baden

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 414

You deserved it 12 296

By GaveAnInchTakeAMile - 11/05/2013 09:52 - United States

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 584

You deserved it 5 854

i_got_it 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:31

Imagine what he would've did if you said **** off.

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:38

He's got good aim. You should've done the same thing. Have like, a fight via streams to see whose stream is mightier.

Comments

americayay 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:52

that's piss ON

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:57

No, his brother pissed OFF of the balcony.

MrAdventure 1

Thursday 22 October 2009 12:29

So now you know - it's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

cyurihsung 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:54

#12, Uh, obviously he DID think it was disgusting, hence him posting it on FML.

BrunetteHottiie 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 4:59

He was talking about the people who said it wasnt an FML

ayashe 2

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:05

The British say piss off. Men are such pigs.

Superawesomestev 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:14

win!

Mx_Rider 6

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:23

win!

TAST3MYRAINB00Wx 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:25

such a stupid fml shower. or have you not heard of such a thought

spiderman0606 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:35

I would be scarred for life. This is totally an fml. So gross. Poor OP, his brother is so ******* disgusting.

ThaMC 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:26

next time, tell him to suck it when you piss on him

sodahhhr 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:30

tell him to fly a kite while eating taco soda, that would make his day

1965 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:53

Your brother needs help.

thematt_fml 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 2:57

haha are u kidding? that kids an evil genius. get him to the military or something

perdix 29

Thursday 22 October 2009 3:02

He must have been pissed (British) and you must have been pissed (American).

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Cold weather Annoying Snow Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

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Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 669

You deserved it 52 044

Today, my husband returned from a 6-week business trip. During that time, I put myself on a very strict diet/exercise regimen so I could surprise him with a hefty weight loss. He took one look at me and demanded to know who I was fucking on the side. Yeah, because that’s the only reason I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 152

You deserved it 231

The Top

Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 123

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 199

You deserved it 44 216

Today, it's been a week since I realized how much work the tongue actually does during eating. It pushes food around the mouth to my teeth like a little slug. I've been so conscious of it, I haven't enjoyed eating since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 797

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were, "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 048

You deserved it 4 040

Today, returning home from a party, I realised I'd forgotten my keys. My roommate was sleeping so soundly that after an hour of throwing gravel and ringing the doorbell, I had to give up and get a room at the hotel over the road. For €85 I had a view of my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 048

You deserved it 6 322

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 070

You deserved it 23 554