Gross and Health: Pleased to meet you - FML

Pleased to meet you

By Eww - 05/10/2014 17:48 - United States - Salem

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 053

You deserved it 3 146

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Same thing different taste

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 798

You deserved it 350

By Med - 13/11/2012 12:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 791

You deserved it 2 974

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 920

You deserved it 6 674

By FedExMan - 11/08/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 713

You deserved it 2 623

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 4 437

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 324

You deserved it 8 729

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 454

You deserved it 8 860

By hamboneghost - 24/02/2015 19:02 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 310

You deserved it 8 864

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 886

You deserved it 7 259

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 926

You deserved it 38 549

Next

Top comments

ochomurph 8

Sunday 5 October 2014 23:02

Find her and throw up on her

SamSwebb 24

Sunday 5 October 2014 23:04

I would have probably thrown up on her in response from the smell alone ... Thats disgusting! FYL

Comments

ManateeRex 14

Tuesday 7 October 2014 15:31

Give her a big hug.

Owltime22 12

Wednesday 8 October 2014 6:43

I'm sorry but it's a little ridiculous that there was at least seven comments suggesting this was Ebloa, and its really not as funny as you think. It just worries people and where op was there has been no signs of Ebloa there, so I think she's safe. don't spread false panic around the internet.

Chellec2013 28

Wednesday 8 October 2014 6:55

This is from Oregon... Portland?

shanebob 15

Thursday 9 October 2014 5:51

This is an up-roar.

MissLily_fml 4

Friday 10 October 2014 22:59

Hmmm...She might have been horribly embarrassed and the flight response kicked in...but still, how disgusting...I would freak out as I have a fear of puke!

travislemoine 7

Tuesday 14 October 2014 4:48

To be fair, besides, "Sorry," there's not much left to say. That said. **** the bitch for not apologizing

Watervixen 27

Saturday 3 September 2016 13:51

ummm wow

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 6 718

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 3 935

The Top

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 116

You deserved it 3 185

Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 837

You deserved it 19 211

Today, I've realised that I give my girlfriend more pleasure with back rubs than with anything sexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 267

You deserved it 735

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 995

You deserved it 30 609

Today, I went to the zoo with a guy I like, when we were there we saw a swarm of bees. I told him that if I got stung he would have to watch me because my dad is deathly allergic to bees and I have never been stung. Jokingly, he nudged me into the bush and said "let's see". We did. I'm allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 752

You deserved it 5 835

Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks… FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 817

You deserved it 445