Doctor, Hospital and Work: Plop

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Plop

By TimeForACareerChange - 18/07/2012 00:54 - United States

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 443

You deserved it 2 338

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Same thing different taste

Good one, dude

By poop hands - 20/12/2016 03:50 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 998

You deserved it 5 064

What is happening to me?

By Anonymous - 09/01/2025 16:30 - India - Puducherry

Today, I was at my gynecologist's for my checkup and had this sudden urge to poop - but it was my turn, so I just went ahead to meet the doc. The doctor noticed that I wanted to poop and also informed all the orderlies that, "This patient wants to pass stool now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 148

Hygienic

By imfullthanks - 14/03/2009 23:06 - Norway

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 691

You deserved it 7 672

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 449

You deserved it 8 679

By CathyM - 27/09/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 896

You deserved it 2 796

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 496

You deserved it 12 940

Messed up

By socal000 - 20/10/2011 12:04 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 083

You deserved it 4 869

Classy

By Radbaby - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I asked a guy to change into a gown for an X-ray exam. I asked him to leave his underwear on, everything else off. Apparently he was going commando, as he left skid marks on my table when the exam was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 531

You deserved it 228

Straining

By NoPeeGiven - 14/04/2013 05:10 - United States - Palatine

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 897

You deserved it 9 991

By Wrongtoilet - 12/07/2010 08:28 - Singapore

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 867

You deserved it 5 463

martinv19 6

Wednesday 18 July 2012 9:13

At least he waited for u to leave!

MotherHen88 4

Wednesday 18 July 2012 9:18

Whenever someone says stool sample, I think of little tiny wooden bar stools for very small people to sit on.

Comments

MrArmy 1

Wednesday 18 July 2012 9:20

It's always good to see someone take the initiative to get things done.

Cindaay_fml 3

Wednesday 18 July 2012 9:21

I would have made him disinfect that poor counter.

yuggi1 11

Wednesday 18 July 2012 9:21

Some people poop that easily. I bet he just pushed and it all came out.

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 18 July 2012 11:23

Um yea, that's how most people poop. Are you constipated? You should eat a bag of saw dust.

ShyAnn29 14

Wednesday 18 July 2012 22:46

I'm glad you didn't say everyone, cause I don't poop like that, I have an ileostomy (look it up)

the_enigma1019 1

Wednesday 18 July 2012 9:29

Was he senile? Some people cannot understand simple logic, either that or he just wanted to screw with you.

TheElderTROLLZ 15

Wednesday 18 July 2012 9:29

Uhhh, no. That was a fail pun and it always will be until I die and come back to life and then kill a deer. That was bad too... but anyway, shut up.

Herculesninja27 5

Wednesday 18 July 2012 9:33

Atleast you won't have to ask for more haha I wonder what he'll do if you ask him for a urine sample XD

luvscomplic8ed 6

Wednesday 18 July 2012 11:48

Oh god, i'd laugh, so hard...

MagicGiraffe 12

Wednesday 18 July 2012 9:33

Stool=SHIT

ohrlly7457 7

Wednesday 18 July 2012 9:36

Well thats SHITTY. You got a CRAP job. You must feel like SHIT. I find this post PUNNY OP.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Wednesday 18 July 2012 10:17

This comment is seeping with radiation. I think I have cancer now.

TheDragonWarrior 5

Wednesday 18 July 2012 11:25

Don't tell me...colon cancer? O_o

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 18 July 2012 14:26

Ohrlly - If your "puns" are too obvious, they've failed. If they are so abstract that you HAVE to CAPITALISE them so people will recognise them, they've failed doubly. And if you compliment your own post, you've failed even worse.