Health, Poopoo peepee, Weird and Awkward: What is happening to me? - FML

What is happening to me?

By Anonymous - 09/01/2025 16:30 - India - Puducherry

Today, I was at my gynecologist's for my checkup and had this sudden urge to poop - but it was my turn, so I just went ahead to meet the doc. The doctor noticed that I wanted to poop and also informed all the orderlies that, "This patient wants to pass stool now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 62

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By weman - 04/09/2021 02:00

Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 174

Great timing

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 118

Not now!

By Anonymous - 19/07/2019 00:01

Today, after 4 days without being able to poop, now, while sitting stuck in traffic, I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 155

I've known for ages

By Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 083

You deserved it 7 184

By Craptastic - 15/09/2018 15:00

Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 815

You deserved it 661

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 766

You deserved it 40 920

Hard pass

By Mew - 04/06/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 234

You deserved it 4 087

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 258

You deserved it 1 736

Relaxed

By Sorry, Doc - 10/09/2022 01:30

Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 226

Plop

By TimeForACareerChange - 18/07/2012 00:54 - United States

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 433

You deserved it 2 335

Next

Top comments

Yudith 24

Thursday 9 January 2025 18:44

Next time, just yell at the nurse calling you that you have to pass stool now. It will be easier for everybody.

Comments

Yudith 24

Thursday 9 January 2025 18:44

Next time, just yell at the nurse calling you that you have to pass stool now. It will be easier for everybody.

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The Top

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 059

You deserved it 8 755

Today, my long distance girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me because I didn't like her drinking and driving. Her reasoning was, "I don't go out that often so what's the problem?" or "I'm safe when I drive drunk." Yeah? How many drunk drivers thought the same then wrapped their car around a tree? FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, my dad forgot my Canadian permanent resident card. We could be stuck in an airport in Japan for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 609

You deserved it 341

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 2 815

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 902

You deserved it 10 286

Today, it's Friday the 13th. I've never been superstitious, and I figured it would be a normal day, that is until my hot water heater exploded and rained water into my downstairs neighbour's apartment for two hours before anyone noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 740

You deserved it 2 429

Today, there was a homeless guy asleep on a bench. I had to step around some kids and my bag hit the homeless guy. Now I can only assume he was a homeless veteran, because the speed with which he woke up, screamed “enemy contact”, and practically broke my knee, tells me he had years of training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 116

Today, I had to go cap in hand to my father-in-law to ask for a loan so I could pay the mortgage, so now he thinks I’m a useless bum who can’t support my family. The truth is it was his daughter the gambler who wasted all our savings, but I can’t bring myself to upset him by telling him the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 287